


Zero

by DrawYourGunsR5



Series: Zeroverse [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: I don't know straight people, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Spoilers, Temporary Character Death, This whole fic is just me quoting songs that make me feel Gay, Todd Brotzman is a Good Boyfriend, Todd Brotzman is an idiot, Todd gets taken by blackwing, Trans Amanda, Trans Todd, temporary character death AGAIN, three years after canon, what's cishet?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 11:43:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrawYourGunsR5/pseuds/DrawYourGunsR5
Summary: Todd took a deep breath. “You said that life had been hell for the past six months and you told me to do it. Did you mean that?”Dirk thought for a moment. “Well, I certainly didn’t mean that I wanted you to kill me. But yeah, life has been a shit show since we broke up and just as I was beginning to feel okay again, you got taken. On what would have been our third anniversary. I guess I just figured, if it’s my time, then it’s been one hell of a build-up.”“I think it would have been worse if you hadn’t broken up with me. They didn’t know we’d broken up when they took me. All that brainwashing stuff was focused on us still being together. If we were, then it might have worked better in their favor.”“I suppose you’re right. Things always happen exactly as they’re supposed to happen.”That felt like a blow to the heart. Things happened the way they were supposed to happen. Which means that Reese is just another toy of the universe. He was just an angel guiding him through hell.***Todd gets taken by blackwing on the day that would have been Dirk and Todd's third anniversary. So naturally, Todd falls in love with a cute doctor named Reese.





	1. Waving Though A Window

One day Dirk decided to do the math. He had been in Blackwing for 12 years as a kid. That’s over 4 thousand days. Over 6 million minutes. He used to think those six million minutes were the worst of his life. He would never go back there. He would never do it again.

But then Todd got taken away.

He had been woken up by the faint sound of a familiar scream and a small crash. The clock on the nightstand was like fire. The bright red lights burned into Dirk’s eyes. 6:40 AM. Panic filled his veins. He jumped out of bed and ran outside toward the sound. He knew the scream was Todd’s, he knew that wasn’t how he sounded when he had an attack. His feet burned on the ice-cold stairs outside the apartment building.

“Nice of you to join us, Svlad,” said a voice colder than the bitter air.

Dirk couldn’t focus on what Priest had to say. In the window of the van, he could see Todd. Handcuffed and gagged with bloodshot eyes filling with tears. Todd’s screams weren’t audible in any way, but Dirk knew he was screaming his name. Because of course, he is.

Dirk tried to scream back but no sound came.

“Don’t worry about your boyfriend. Negotiations will be made to get him back.” Priest snickered and slipped around the van and hopped in the driver’s seat.

The van tore Todd away from Dirk. They looked into each other’s eyes through the dirty windows. At that moment both of them promised not to give up on the other.

Dirk reached into his pocket for his phone to call Farah, or the Rowdies, or even the police. His grip failed and the phone fell to the cement. As it shattered, it flickered “6:42 AM” and went black.

Any happiness Dirk had felt in the past three years had been ripped out of him in a matter of seconds. He was alone, really truly alone. He had already been lonely, but he was lonely with Todd. This was going to be so much worse, he knew that. There was a possibility that he’d never see Todd again. He wanted to be lonely. He didn’t want to be alone.

Dirk was wrong. Those six million minutes in Blackwing weren’t the worst of his life. Seeing Todd taken by the evilest people in the universe, as scared as he was, that was the worst thing he had ever been through. Those two minutes of Todd being taken away from him were the worst of his life. The six million in Blackwing felt like a walk in the park. All he could do was drop to his knees, hide his head in his hands, and scream.


	2. Helpless

Todd had always known Blackwing was awful. He saw the effects it had on Dirk and their relationship every day. After only being with Blackwing for two hours, he knew that any idea he had about them was wrong. They weren’t just awful. They were pure evil. They chose to be. Two hours in the car with Mr. Priest made Todd understand much more about Dirk than he ever had.

Priest mumbled something to the back of the van. A man in a black mask reached over to remove the gag that had been choking Todd the whole time.

Todd gasped, finally being able to breathe properly felt like a blessing.

“What? No beggin’? No asking where I’m takin’ you?” Priest teased.

Todd’s eyes tore away from the ground. He looked up and locked eyes with Priest in the rearview mirror. He said nothing.

“Do you even know who I am?”

Todd’s eyes went back to the floor. “You’re Priest.”

Priest let out a sickening chuckle. “Smart boy. How’d you know that?”

Because the sound of his voice in the Cardenas house still haunts him at night. Because Dirk has told him about the “evilest man alive” enough to recognize him. Because the fear in Dirk’s eyes is only there when he sees Mr. Priest.

“Hunch,” Todd mumbled, almost with a smile.

Another sickening chuckle escaped Priest’s lips. “Oh boy, we’re gonna have some fun here, aren’t we?”

The drive stayed silent. Todd was too afraid to speak, and Priest seemed to have enough information. The two guards with black masks never said anything, maybe they weren’t allowed. What if they were taken as well? Forced to kidnap other people, because if they didn’t they could die? What if everyone that worked for Blackwing were actually just slaves to Priest, Ken, and Wilson, forced to do things against their will for no other reason than, “Do this and we’ll let you live until tomorrow?” What kind of life was that?

Todd considered it momentarily. No, he’d rather die than be a slave to the people that hurt Dirk. But then the look in Dirk’s eyes as the van drove away flashed in his mind once again and he decided that he had to keep his promise no matter what. He is going to see Dirk again. No matter what they do to him while he’s here. He is going to make it out alive. He’s going to make that fear in Dirk disappear, and he can’t do that if he’s dead.

It took another nine hours before anything happened. They pulled into a parking lot of an abandoned building, Priest got out of the van and opened up the backdoor.

“Brotzman, out,” He ordered.

Todd hesitantly crawled out of the van. He nearly fell, unable to catch himself with his hands tied behind his back. Next to the van was an old car with tinted windows. On the other side of the car was another van that looked exactly the same as the one Todd was just in.

“‘right, what pocket’s yer phone in?”

“My phone?”

“Don’t try to lie, Brotzman. I know you have it. What pocket?”

Todd gulped, “front right.”

Priest reached into Todd’s pocket and pulled out his phone. A broken smile slid onto Priest’s face as he read the notifications on the screen. “How cute is this? From Dirk with a little sunflower emoji. He said ‘we will save you, I promise, just do everything he says.’ Well, what a smart boyfriend ya get there. It would truly be a shame if ya never saw each other again, wouldn’t it?”

Todd almost argued the boyfriend statement, but what would be the point of that? There’s something more concerning in what Priest had to say. “How did you know he’s my boyfriend?”

“We’ve got eyes on Icarus. We always have.”

Todd grimaced. If that were true, wouldn’t Priest know that Dirk broke up with him?

Priest walked over to the old car and handed the phone to the driver through the window. Todd overheard Priest mumble. “Take it down to Texas and destroy it. I’m sure that smart girl on their team is trying to track it.”

The old car revved its engine and drove away.

“Okay, Brotzman, let’s go.” Priest waved his hand for Todd to follow him to the van. He opened the back door. “You’re takin’ too long.”

Todd’s feet broke away from the spots they were stuck in and he walked over to the van. He stepped up on the ledge to get in. As he tried to jump in he felt a hand pressed into his back. He almost thought it was a helpful shove to get him into the van until Priest pushed him a little too hard and his face collided with the floor of the van. The doors slammed behind him as Priest snickered over his achievement. With his hands still tied behind his back, Todd pulled himself off the ground and into a seat. His head burned, he considered the possibility of it bleeding but there wasn’t anything he could do about it. So he ignored it.

He zoned out for the rest of the ride. At some point, one of the new Blackwing bitches put a blindfold on Todd.

“There are no windows back here, what’s the point of the blindfold?” Todd begged.

“You’re getting awfully chatty back there, boy. Don’t ruin my fun.”

As Priest said that, a weird feeling trickled down Todd’s back. He’d never felt it before but he recognized it. It was helplessness. In all his years, he’d never felt it. Even when he spent years lying to his family, he knew he was in control of his lie. He knew he could stop lying at any time and he did. When he met Dirk, of course, he realized he wasn’t as in control as he originally thought. But he was never alone. He always had someone on his team. Yet, this feeling of helplessness was so familiar and he could pinpoint the reason why he recognized it in a second. He’d seen Dirk fall into the hole of helplessness countless times - and every single time, it was because of Mr. Priest. He had this power over people to take away any hope they could have. Todd knew this. But he couldn’t even begin to prepare for the sickening feeling in his stomach. He thought of Dirk, and how he had to go through this at such a young age. That was enough to jump-start his heart, sending a small spark of hope hidden into his chest. He kept it hidden there, if he let it show, Priest would kill it. So Todd hid it until he’d have a chance to fan it into a flame. He had to have hope somewhere. For Dirk.

He was glad there was a blindfold over his eyes. Without it, Priest might see the tears forming.

The drive was brutal. Todd thought he wouldn’t survive it. After the first ten hours, they made regular stops for food, sleep, and bathroom necessities. One of the Blackwing bitches would remove Todd’s blindfold and handcuffs to avoid looking suspicious. They always stopped at a run-down gas station. Once, Todd made note that each one looked like a place Bart would enjoy. Dirty, falling apart, and probably a murder scene. Maybe she had been to these gas stations and killed someone at each one. Maybe she’d left her mark and that’s why Priest insisted on stopping there. Maybe he’s looking for her, too.

Nearly three days passed. Todd’s blindfold had been painfully reapplied every time they got back into the van, except it had been a new van each time. When the van stopped this time, he expected the blindfold taken off again, but it stayed on. Instead, the Blackwing bitches grabbed his arms and pulled him out of the van.

“Where are we?” That was a stupid question. Todd knew exactly where they were.

Priest snickered. “Take a guess, Brotzman.”

When they were inside someone ripped his blindfold off. The bright light of the corridor burned Todd’s eyes for a moment. Priest had to kick his ankles to make him start walking again. They led him down a cold hallway. It had tall, heavy doors lining each wall. Some unlabeled, but most had a weird unique shape painted on them. Weird signs and symbols he didn’t understand.

It felt like they were leading him through miles of a labyrinth. It was cold and gross. It should have been dark, but the bright lights made it so much eerier. Todd kept trying to make sense of the shapes until he saw one that instantly made his blood run cold. He feet froze in place and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the door he was staring at. It had a diamond, with a circle in the center and a line going through it. He’s seen it before. On Dirk. They had tattooed it on his side, a permanent reminder that he belonged to them. A branding. And Todd understood. They strip people of their humanity by labeling them with a shape and a word and forcing them to forget they’re real.

And this is where they did that to Dirk.

“You recognize this one, Brotzman?” Priest preyed.

Todd nodded slowly.

“This is where Icarus stays when we get him under control. You wanna take a look inside?”

Todd briefly considered it. A look into Dirk’s mind. To be able to see where Dirk goes when he has those nightmares.

But he shook his head. That’s Dirk’s nightmare in there. Something about that just felt too personal.

Priest chuckled. “Of course not. I’m not surprised. Alright, let’s get you cleaned up before the tests start.”

Around another handful of corners was what Todd assumed was the hospital wing. It was very small, only two rooms, but it shocked Todd that they had one at all. Priest led him into one of the rooms, told him to sit on the table and wait, and left.

And Todd was alone. For the first time in three days, nobody was watching him. He didn’t even realize he was crying until someone came rushing into the room.

Todd kept looking at the ground, but he could see the long white doctor’s coat the man was wearing.

“Brotzman?” The man asked.

Todd nodded.

“I’m Dr. Mann. I’d say it’s nice to meet you, but I can think of a million other places to meet people that would be better than this one.”

A Blackwing bitch that recognizes the hell this is. Interesting.

Dr. Mann held out his hand for Todd. He wondered why he’d want to shake his hand, but when Todd lifted his hand Dr. Mann met it with a set of keys. He unlocked the handcuffs that were burning into Todd’s skin and tossed them to the ground. The doctor began examining his wrists.

“You were trying pretty hard to get out of those.”

Todd gulped. “Habit.”

“I don’t blame you. I’ll get you something for that.” He walked over to a cabinet and grabbed a small bottle. He put some of the cream on Todd’s wrists and rubbed it in for him. It was a strange moment. It lasted only a couple of seconds, but Todd felt something flash in him for a moment. For just that second, he considered the possibility that this doctor wasn’t just a Blackwing bitch. Maybe he was a person who actually cared about the wellbeing of people in here.

And then that moment ended.

The door opened and Priest marched over to the bed Todd was sitting on.

“You’re being awfully nice to him, Reese,” Priest snickered. “You sure he deserves all that?”

The doctor turned to Priest with a fake smile, “You gotta be more careful before you bring them here Oz. People are bound to notice.”

“You’re the doc, Doc. Hurry up with this one. Hope you’re ready Project Zero. We’re getting started on you soon.”


	3. Eternity

Todd wanted so badly to lose track of the time. He didn’t want to know how long he’s been in Blackwing. He didn’t want to know how many days Dirk has had to worry about him. He didn’t want to know how many days he’s been in hell. But that damned voice recording told him every morning. He tried to zone it out, he knew it was coming after the “Awake, awake. You are awake,” alarm went off. He would cover his ears so he didn’t have to know what day it was. But, of course, that never worked. Because why would it? Why would Todd have any chance at a moment of peace?

“Prepare for testing, Project Zero. Day 19.”

He’s been here for nineteen days. Nineteen days of tests and experiments. Nineteen days he suffered through things like electrocutions, starvation, and beating. Each day was something different. A new experiment in the morning, and then if he deserved it he got a small lunch, it was always bland and cold and probably poisonous. After “lunch” every day he was taken to a dark room with a chair and an old-timey projector screen. He’d sit in the chair and someone would hook him up to a bunch of wires and machines. They’d ask him questions and if he didn’t answer correctly, he was given a shock. The more he got wrong, the harder the shock was. Every time, it was met with a very loud “WRONG!” being shouted in his ears. It was the same recording he heard in his morning experiments, except in the morning there was a bright red sign that flashed _ WRONG _along with the voice. He could see the sign flashing when he closed his eyes. It was everywhere. He was always wrong.

Day 19. He got lunch today. Not because he was good, but because he would die if he didn’t eat. And Blackwing needs him alive. So he was given an apple and two slices of toast, which meant mashed potatoes and something that is supposed to be meatloaf for dinner. That meant it’s Wednesday.

He was lead to the same room he’s always in for testing. It was a deadly routine they’ve trained him to be apart of. Every day, walking the same path and seeing the red _ EXIT _ sign in the corner of his eye. He could find his way around half the building in his sleep. Maybe they did that on purpose just to remind him how trapped he was. He wouldn’t be able to make it out the exit alive. Not with how many guards there are. There’s always someone ready to shoot him. They always made sure he knew that.

“Hello project Zero. Nice to see you again.”

Of course, Priest is there. Todd hadn’t seen him since the first day he was here, and he was beginning to hope something had happened to him. Maybe he should be worried. Seeing Priest is never a _ good _thing. Alarms should be going off in his brain; “Danger! Danger!” But they weren’t.

“Osmund, I didn’t see you there. I thought you were an old leather chair,” Todd deadpanned.

Priest clenched his jaw. “You best watch your mouth, Zero, and you _ know _that ain’t my name.”

Todd sat in the chair across from where Priest was standing. “Well, Zero’s not _ my _name.”

Priest mumbled something about Todd being a little bitch before turning to the Blackwing Bitches and ordering them to set him up for the testing.

Once Todd had all the regular wires tapped onto him, Priest leaned against the wall next to the screen. “We’re goin’ ta do somethin’ a little bit different this week, Zero. I’m gonna ask you a few questions, an’ we’ll see how ya do.”

Great. 

“So, what do you know about Project Icarus?”

“His name is Dirk. He’s my best friend, I know everything about him.”

Priest closed his eyes and nodded. “Sounds good. We’ll start you off slow.”

Todd took a deep breath and shuddered. Why are they asking Todd questions about Dirk? Didn’t Priest say he had eyes on him 24/7? Doesn’t Priest know everything?

Priest looked down at a clipboard he was holding. “How did y’all meet?” 

“In my apartment.”

“Can you be a _bit _more specific? You’ve already reached the end of my patience.”

“He was in my apartment when I got home from work.”

_WRONG!_

Todd flinched. He expected the shock but it never came.

Priest smiled, “getting a little excited there, are ya?”

Todd cleared his throat. “He… He broke into my apartment.”

“Now that’s a little better. Doesn’t it feel nice to get off your chest?” Priest chuckled.

Todd shook his head lazily.

“He ruined your life after that, didn’t he?”

Todd mumbled out a soft, “No,” while he tried not to break. He didn’t want to think about Dirk. He didn’t want to blame him for what’s happening.

“He made your sister hate you, he got you fired from your job. He nearly killed you multiple times. He manipulated you into doing his dirty work. And you trusted him, didn’t you?”

“I still do.”

_WRONG!_

There was a shock this time. He felt his whole body shake at the electricity.

“Zero, I don’t think you know what’s going on here. I’m just telling you the truth and when you disagree, you’re creating this fake memory in your head. None of what you remember is _ real, _kid. I’m just here to help you remember the truth.”

That’s when the picture showed up on the screen. Well, not a picture. It was a symbol. One Todd had memorized immediately after seeing it the first time. He still remembers that night.

_He and Dirk were drunk, sitting on the floor of Farah’s living room. He could still hear Dirk’s laugh echoing through the hall. He doesn’t remember what the joke was. But suddenly Dirk had gotten quiet because his shirt had come untucked. And Todd asked him what that strange tattoo was above his hip._

_“That was the symbol they assigned me.” Dirk had said in a slow and pained voice. His eyes became heavy with tears as he tried frantically to tuck his shirt back in._

_“Hey.” Todd grabbed Dirk’s hand and whispered, “You’re beautiful.”_

_They kissed softly until Farah came back in and the moment was over. _

“I knew you’d recognize this, Zero. You saw it the day you came in here.”

The moment was over. For the first time in nineteen days, Todd let the tears fall. Maybe they finally broke him, or maybe he just misses his friends, but he cried.

Priest laughed. “I’m gonna play you a little clip we picked up while someone was watching good ol’ Icarus.” He hit a button on the tablet he was holding and the sound began ripping through the air.

“As soon as this case is over, I’m getting rid of Todd.”

It sounded like Dirk, but it was weird. It didn’t sound like anything he’d ever say. Dirk wanted Todd around forever. He proved that so many times. He asked for it. Dirk wanted forever. If anything, it was Todd that didn’t.

The tears stopped. Everything went black for a moment. When he opened his eyes, Priest was laughing again. “I know how badly you want to go home, but even if you did, your precious boyfriend wouldn’t be there for you. He hates you. He’s glad you’re here.”

Again, everything went black. Todd knew he was about to have an attack, but he tried to it. He held his eyes shut tight, trying to focus on what was real. The pain in his chest, that was real. That hasn’t gone away since Dirk broke up with him. The pain in his head from getting shocked, that was real. The sound of Priest mocking him, that was real. The smell of smoke, was that real?

He opened his eyes to see a fire beginning to form at his feet. He began to feel the flames as they got closer and closer. Priest’s voice got even louder. He tried to cover his ears, kick his feet, but he was tied down. The ropes were getting tighter around his wrists and ankles. The flames wrapped around his legs as he screamed. The more he tried to pull his arms away, the ropes got tighter and the fire got hotter.

_I’m in hell. _He thought, just as he passed out.

He seemed to be floating for a moment, before hearing a familiar voice shout his name. It was fuzzy and far away, but he _ knew _ that voice. He tried to put a name to it. He should know exactly who it is, but it’s too soft.

“Todd!”

The light burned his eyes. When everything came back in focus he could finally see that he was in the infirmary. Why was it so bright?

“Oh good, you’re awake,” The doctor greeted. It was the same doctor from the day he came in. He was over at the counter, looking through a box. He glanced over his shoulder to look at Todd. His eyes almost had a sparkle to them.

Todd tried to sit up but was stopped by a belt around his chest. He groaned as he fell back down onto his back.

“Oh!” The doctor ran over to Todd’s bedside. “You were scratching at your arms and legs. We had to restrain you so you didn’t hurt yourself.” He leaned over Todd to unlatch him from the bed.

When Todd was free, he sat up and leaned against the wall.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

Todd shrugged.

“That was a pararibulitis attack, right?”

Todd nodded. Why was he asking him so many questions?

“I was doing some research on the disease before they brought you into Blackwing. I wanted to know how to treat you when you’re here, but it’s rare to find anything about it. Can you tell me about it?”

Something in Todd’s stomach started to burn. “What do you mean ‘before they brought me to Blackwing?’ They were planning this?”

“You didn’t know?” The doctor questioned. “They had you on their radar ever since Wendimoor.”

Wendimoor. That was over three years ago. That means they’ve been watching him and Dirk and Farah and Amanda for three years. They hadn’t heard from Blackwing for three years, and it’s because they were planning this. This is what it all came to.

“Why are they doing this to me?” Todd finally asked once he caught his breath.

“They’re weaponizing you.” Dr. Mann answered.

“Weaponizing me?”

“They were showing you pictures and videos of Dirk, right? Gave you an electrical shock whenever you said something positive about him? They’re trying to make you hate him. Those videos they show you aren’t real. But they don’t want you to know that.”

Todd looked down at his legs, trying to process the new information. Blackwing was trying to turn him into a weapon to hurt Dirk. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to jump into the ocean. He can’t hurt Dirk. He couldn’t even get mad at him when they broke up. There’s nothing Blackwing could show him that would make him want to hurt the sunshine boy.

“I don’t believe you,” Todd jabbed.

“I know. But you can. This room is completely private. No cameras, no recorders, nothing. I’m telling you this because I want you to realize I’m here to help you. My job is to keep you alive, but my goal is to keep you from going crazy in here. Priest can be a bitch, but if you trust me I can help keep him off your back. So, tell me what you can about pararibulitis.”

Something about it felt wrong. But there was something about Doctor Reese Mann that felt right. Todd took a deep breath and started telling him everything he knew about pararibulitis. How it runs in his family, what it does to his body, what happens when the Rowdies feed off Amanda. He almost told him about the years he spent lying about having the disease but stopped himself. That felt too personal. So instead, he started talking about his treatments. How expensive it is, how the medicine he takes is the same medicine an epileptic cat needs to take, he even told the weird story about Hobbs’ cat sharing his medicine. By the end of it, Todd was smiling. It wasn’t a cheeks-aching smile that he’d have after spending a day with Dirk, but it was still a smile. It was the first time in 19 days that he had smiled. That was the longest amount of time he’s gone without feeling happy.

“Thanks for telling me all that, Todd. I’m going to work on getting you some of that cat medicine. I’m going to try my best to prevent another attack like that from happening again.”

_Todd. _ It was the first time in over 19 days that he’d heard anyone say his name. For nearly the past month they’ve all been calling him _ Zero. _Dehumanizing him. For the first time, he felt like a person again.

He sighed. “Can I asked you a question, Doctor?”

Dr. Mann nodded.

“You seem like a good person. Why do you work for Blackwing?”

He bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows. After a couple of seconds, he took a deep breath and said, “I find a balance in the middle of the chaos.” He stood up and started walking toward the door. “Someone will be around soon to take you back to your cell. And Todd?”

“Yeah?”

He turned over his shoulder to look at Todd. There was that sparkle again. “You can call me Reese.”

Todd felt his lips curl up into a smile again as Reese left the room. It felt nice. Warm.

Reese, a friend.


	4. My Shot

Day 34. Todd has been in Blackwing for over a month. It’s gotten worse. Reese got him some medication to help with his pararibulitis. It’s been working, but Priest and Ken seem to think that’s just an invitation to hurt him even more. He’s been getting less sleep, less food, more experiments. And more “Therapy,” as they’ve been calling it. Every day they try to convince him how much he should hate Dirk, and still, nothing has been effective. He saw Reese every day for the first few days after his attack. Reese said it was to make sure his medication was working properly, but soon after that Ken said taking him to the infirmary daily was hindering his experiments. Now he’s scheduled to see Reese for twenty minutes once a week. He looks forward to those visits every second he’s not there. It seems weird, or it seems like it  _ should  _ be weird and it’s not. Todd likes being around Reese, he makes him feel safe. The next time he sees him will be day 37.

_ Less than 72 hours, I have to survive less than 72 hours.  _ Todd told himself as the guard threw him back into his room. They told him to get some sleep and to be prepared for the morning. Just like they always did.

He changed into his pajama jumpsuit and laid down on his bed. That was a boring sentence because it was a boring thing to do. He was bored. He wanted to start a riot. He was going insane. After hours of tossing and turning in bed, unable to close his eyes for longer than four seconds, he got out of bed. When he was with Dirk, whenever he couldn’t sleep he and Dirk would walk to the kitchen and talk at the dinner table. Dirk would make them tea that they’d forget about when they finally went to sleep. He always slept better after that. He never knew why that helped, but it was worth a shot.

He didn’t have a kitchen table to sit at, or a boyfriend to talk to, or tea to pretend to drink, but still, he tried. He paced the floor and began thinking out loud.

“Why can’t I sleep?” He whispered. No one could hear him, he knew that, but it was better to be safe than sorry. “Guilt. Anger. Fear. Basically every emotion I’ve been feeling nonstop since college. I miss my friends and family and they probably don’t even give a damn about what’s happening to me. Hell, I don’t even give a damn about what’s happening to me. There’s only one person here who makes me give a damn and once I’m home I’m never going to see him again. If I even have a home to go to when this is all over. They have to let me go eventually, right?”

He remembered he was talking to himself and nodded sadly. “Of course. Because I’m alone in here. And I’m never going to be free. I might as well just-”

His door opened. “Hey, why aren’t you asleep, Zero?” The guard yelled.

“How’d you know I was awake?” Todd shouldn’t have asked, but he did.

“I saw your shadow moving as I was walking past your door. Go to bed before Supervisor Adams comes down here,” he demanded.

Todd apologized and got back into the bed. The guard closed the door and walked off. Todd sat up and listened closely to the footsteps walking away from his door. It was so quiet at night, he could hear anything he focused on; the furnace, the wind outside, the electricity buzzing in the lights in the hallway, his own heartbeat. In that moment there was one sound he definitely did not hear. The sound of his door locking. He knows he definitely didn’t hear this because this noise is loud, and he can always hear it over the loud clamoring of usually Blackwing-ness. Tonight, he didn’t hear it lock.

Once the footsteps were gone, Todd jumped up and ran to his door. This could be it. This could be his moment. The exit is only 100 feet from his door. He can run that far in 30 seconds.

What if this is just a test? What if as soon as he walks out that door, the guards catch him, and laugh at him, and tell him how stupid it was to even try. This is definitely a test.

But what if it’s not? What if it’s just the universe, finally telling him he can go?

“I’m throwing away my shot,” He whispered.

He cracked open the door and peeked around the corner. There was no one. The hallway was empty. He could see the exit sign.

He ran. He can make the distance in 30 seconds if he’s brave enough. He ran faster than he knew he could. His feet didn’t even seem to touch the floor. He didn’t think he could ever stop running. Even when he heard the guards chasing after him, he didn’t stop. He had to make it out the door. If only he can make it another ten seconds without getting shot.

Even when he felt the bullet pierce his leg, he kept trying to run. He’d never wanted anything so badly. He’d never tried so hard for anything in his life. But that goddamn bullet. He fell to the ground. Only two feet from the door. He could almost taste his freedom again.

_Maybe it’s an attack. I can still do this._ _I can still do this. I can still do this. I can still do this. I can._

He tried to pull himself up but it was too late. The guards stood over him. For the millionth time since he’s been here, he felt his hope drain away.

“It’s not an attack,” He mumbled as they put the needle in his arm.

He tried, but everything went dark.

Waking up in the hospital room was different this time. No weird voice pulling him in slowly. This time, he woke up fast. Like jumping into an ice-cold pool.

“How stupid are you?!”

Todd attempted to sit up to see Reese better but was stopped by the pain in his leg. He accepted his defeat and stared at the ceiling.

“I had to try,” He admitted. “But hey, I’m alive and I got to see you again. Worth it?”

Reese stood, arms crossed, a few feet away from Todd’s bed. “You could have died.”

“They’re not going to kill me. You said it yourself, they need me alive,” His voice didn’t sound like his own again. It was someone else talking. Someone dull, someone who had died when that bullet hit them.

“That doesn’t mean you can just do things to put yourself at risk. You try something like that again and they  _ will  _ kill you.”

Todd turned his head. Reese’s eye looked sad. Todd felt his heart start beating again. “It’s almost like you care about me, doc.”

Reese gasped involuntarily. “Uh. Your leg is going to fine. It’s going to hurt for a while, I’m not allowed to give you any pain meds. You’ll stay in here for a couple of days but when you go back you have to be more careful. If you ever want to see your boyfriend again, you have to start playing by their rules.”

There it is.

Todd turned back to the ceiling. “He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

“Either way, you’re a decent person, and the first good conversation I’ve had since I started working for this dump. So follow their rules and you’ll get out of here alive.”

Todd closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about getting out. He doesn’t want false hope. If he’s learned anything from what just happened it’s that he's never going to get out of here. He’s trapped forever. That’s the reality he has to accept. And he definitely didn’t want to think about Dirk. Just three months after Todd broke his heart, he was taken by the same people that ruined his life. Dirk probably hates him for everything that he did. Why should Dirk care all of a sudden, just because he was taken? Where was he even trying to escape to?

“Hey, you know Bart, don’t you?” Reese asked.

Todd broke out of his spiral. “Yeah, she kind of joined our agency once she stopped trying to murder Dirk.”

“She came in here, right after the Wendimoor debacle. She used to tell me stories about her friends Panto and Dirk Gently. She told me about you a few times, too.”

Todd smiled lightly. “I don’t think she and Dirk were friends at the time. She was still trying to kill him back then.”

Reese pulled his little doctor chair over to the side of the bed and sat next to Todd. “She told me about a party that you guys had at the police station. Dirk came to her cell when he was getting tired and asked her to take care of you if anything happened to him. She told me that you were a person worth protecting. She was right.” 

“Will you help me sit up?”

Reese stood up and helped Todd pull himself into a seated position against the wall. Todd grimaced as the pain in his leg shot through his body. Once he was sitting comfortably the pain lessened.

“You good?” Reese asked as he sat back down.

Todd nodded and cleared his throat. “I didn’t know that about Bart. Dirk told me that he talked about me with her, but I always assumed…” He shook his head. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

“Sure it does.” Reese shrugged. “If you have something on your mind you can talk to me about it. That’s what I’m here for.”

The tone of his voice made something inside Todd spark to light.

“I thought he was telling Bart how he had feelings for me. Before he went back there, he kissed me. We didn’t talk about it for the rest of the case, but a week after it was over he kissed me again. We didn’t stop for nearly three years.”

“You were together for three years?”

“Just shy of. We were coming up on our anniversary when I fucked it all up.”

“What happened?”

Todd shook his head. “I don’t really want to get into it. But it’s whatever, now. We’re both better off.”

Reese froze for a moment, carefully thinking about his next question. “You still love him?”

Todd took a deep breath and sat in thought. “Yeah. Well, no. I’m not  _ in love  _ with him anymore. But he’s my best friend. I’ll always love him in some way.”

Reese leaned in and whispered, “You’ve got someone out there who cares about you more than you know. Don’t die in here, Todd. Don’t do that to him.” 

Todd’s eyes closed for a brief moment and he sighed. “I hate it when you’re right.”

Reese shrugged. “It’s part of the job. I like you, Todd. You’re a person worth protecting, remember?”

All of the blood in Todd’s body ran into his cheeks. “I think I like you too, Reese.”

Todd’s chest began to burn. His heart was glowing.  _ What the fuck was it doing that for? _

He put a hand on his chest. “Whoa.”

Reese stood up. “You okay?”

Todd took a deep breath.  _ Definitely not.  _ “Yeah, I think I just got light-headed for a second.”

“You should lie back down. Here-” Reese grabbed Todd’s arms and helped him get back into a lying position.

And there it was. Todd was  _ painfully  _ aware of how close Reese’s face was to his. He stared up into the other man’s beautiful brown eyes. His heart was racing. The glowing sensation burned through his entire body.  _ Why does that keep happening?  _

Reese felt it too. He couldn’t breathe as he looked down at Todd. It was like he had stolen the air out of his lungs. And strangely enough, it felt normal. But it wasn’t safe.

He almost felt Todd leaning up as he pulled himself away. It was quick, like tearing a movie out of a DVD player just as the menu screen popped up. He had options, a lot of them.

“You should get some rest. I’ll be back in a couple of hours to check up on you and get you some food.”

As Reese rushed out the door Todd’s head fell back into the hard pillow. He was alone with his thoughts and he could only think one thing;  _ What the  _ fuck  _ just happened? _


	5. More Than Survive

Todd had spent a little over a week in the hospital wing after getting shot. It took him five days to be able to walk again. Reese was there, helping him through recovery as much as he was allowed to. They bonded a lot in his time there. Somehow, after he nearly kissed him, things weren’t awkward between them.

Okay, that’s a lie. Things were definitely awkward. Because Todd didn’t want to want to kiss Reese, and yet he did. And Reese didn’t want to be falling for Todd, and yet he was. Every time Todd spoke it was like celestial harmonies were singing their chorus, the world was calm and angels were on the playing field. Reese wanted nothing more than to hold on to Todd, to protect him from Blackwing and the world.

Reese sat at the foot of the bed while Todd sat up against the wall. Todd couldn’t remember how they started talking about pararibulitis, but their fun conversation turned sour when Todd offhandedly mentioned his Big Lie.

“How long did you lie?”

Todd wasn’t expecting Reese to ask that question. Most people ask why, or how did everyone else find out. He knew the answers to those. But he couldn’t remember how long he’d kept up the biggest mistake of his life.

“Too long,” he answered. “I don’t remember when it started. I was in a really bad place in my life, but as soon as Amanda got sick I said I got better. I didn’t want to hurt her any more than I had. Six years later, I met Dirk and he showed me how to be a better person, so I told her the truth.”

Reese took a moment to take in the information.

Todd froze. Was this it? Has Reese realized that Todd is quite actually a Major Piece of Shit Not Worth of His Time? Let’s hope not.

“Did you have to tell her, though? If she didn’t think you were sick at the time, then in a way, you weren’t lying.”

“She thought that I was cured. She had false hope because of me and my lie. She deserved the truth.”

Reese nodded. “I understand that. But withholding the truth technically isn’t a lie.”

Todd narrowed his eyes. “Now you’re starting to sound like Dirk.”

A smile cracked open on Reese’s lips. “Would that be such a bad thing?”

It was strange, but he just had this way about him. Todd always felt unbearingly safe around Reese. It was exhilarating. If he spent the rest of his life in the infirmary, he’d be okay with it. But at the same time, he wanted so badly to be out in the world  _ with  _ Reese. He wanted to take him to dinner and a movie and hold his hand and do everything couples who  _ aren’t  _ being held captive can do. He wanted it all with Reese.

It was day 42. Two days after Todd told Reese his fun pararibulitis backstory. The infirmary door opened, Reese walked in carefully, making sure the door was fully closed behind him before speaking, just as he always does. He handed Todd his plate of breakfast. "I'd hate to ruin your appetite by giving you bad news, but they're taking you back into testing today."

Todd stared down at his plate of  _ mush,  _ then back at Reese. "When?"

"I'm supposed to give one last check that you're stable and that you can walk. And after that, they'll come to get you."

"Maybe you could just tell them I can't walk."

Reese cleared his throat. "Wilson is going to be here to make sure I'm not giving them any incorrect information. They and Ken seem to think I'm giving you special treatment."

Todd spooned a pile of mush into his mouth. He thinks it's supposed to be hashbrowns. "Why would you be giving me any special treatment?" Todd begged after a discomforting swallow.

Of course, it’s obvious. Reese  _ was _ giving Todd special treatment. He couldn't stop himself. Every time "Project Zero" came up in conversation with his bosses, he'd find a way to make Todd clear of any harm. But why?

Reese blushed.

There were those butterflies in Todd's stomach again. Was "butterflies" even the right word? He felt like a ten-year-old, calling them butterflies, but that was the only word he could think of to describe how he felt. Reese could smile, or blush, or even look at him over his glasses and something in Todd's stomach would flip. He thought about that moment the day he got shot, where he almost kissed Reese, and he decided he definitely wanted to try to do that again. But there was never a good time. After all, when is there a good time to kiss the guy that works for your kidnappers?

"I mean- uh. Besides making me feel a hell of a lot safer,  _ do  _ you give me any special treatment?"

Reese gulped. "Yes? I mean most patients are just a simple, in and out thing but for some reason, with you, I like to stick around. I don't know why. I just like being around you."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember what I told you, about what Bart said about you when she was here?"

Todd nodded.

"I told you that she was right. You're kind of really important to me, Todd. So when I hear them talking about all the things they're going to do to you, I try to tell them to… not? I kind of want you to stay alive."

Todd smiled and continued eating. Every time Reese said something like that, Todd’s brain short-circuited. Was he flirting? Was he just being a good doctor? Was he just being a friend? Is he holistic too and just has a hunch to keep him safe? Shit, the last time that happened he ended up dating the guy for three years.

He tried to talk himself down. He told himself it was just Stockholm syndrome and he didn't actually have feelings for Reese. But then Reese would tell him he had pretty eyes or a lovely personality and Todd would  _ melt.  _ He knew it wasn't just a compliment thing. Mona had told him he had beautiful eyes countless times, and he never had a crush on her. It was all because it was coming from Reese - the guy that's practically risking his life to protect him.

Todd dropped his spoon on the tray. "You have to stop that."

Reese was taken by surprise. "Stop what?"

"Protecting me? If they find out about us they could kill you. And you're kind of important to me, too."

Reese smirked, "Is there anything about us for them to find out?"

Todd chuckled and shook his head.  _ God, I wish. _

Reese took Todd's empty plate. "You've got a cute smile. Now I have to go get Wilson before they think we're fucking in here."

A chill went down Todd's spine as Reese went out the door.

"Zero just finished his breakfast. Let me just-" The door shut.

Todd took a deep breath and held it. Did Reese actually just imply that the two of them would  _ fuck?  _ Did those words just come out of his mouth? Right after he said he's got a cute smile.  _ Fuck, Reese Mann, what are you doing to me? _

He exhaled and it burned. He wanted Reese to come back. Just Reese. Alone.

But he didn't. After ten minutes, Reese came back in with Wilson and a guard.

"Hello, Zero. It's been a while." Wilson greeted.

They looked a lot older than they did three years ago. Their orange hair was now turning blonde, and their face showed more wrinkles than it did before.

“Wilson, you’ve aged.”

“Yes, well trying to keep a secret government agency  _ secret,  _ is a lot harder when I have idiots on the outside trying to expose us.” Their voice was cold and bitter, which hasn’t changed over the years. It seemed as if Wilson had spent their entire life learning how to be stone cold and evil. Maybe that’s just how they’ve always been.

“Maybe there’s a reason for that.”

The last time Todd saw Wilson was right after the Wendimoor case. The Agency was trying to get the word out about Blackwing, hoping that if enough light was shone on it then someone would finally shut it down. There was a lot of kickback from it. A large group of people online believed them, and they had even connected with a couple of other holistic people who had been victims of Blackwing as well. But it didn’t help. Not enough dirt was kicked in their eyes, not enough people cared. But Wilson had heard about it and a group of “higher-ups” came to visit the agency one day. It wasn’t pretty, but after that, they hadn’t heard from Blackwing for three years. If only they had known  _ why  _ they wouldn’t have thought it was a good thing.

“Is he always like this?” Wilson asked Reese.

Reese smirked. “Always.”

Todd looked down and smiled, trying not to make it obvious that he was smiling back at Reese. 

Wilson rolled their eyes. “Well, get a move on.”

Reese went through the normal physical with Todd, showing Wilson that he, unfortunately, wasn’t dying and could mostly walk on his own. He still had a limp, but that was to be expected for a few more weeks.

When they were finished, Wilson scribbled something onto their clipboard. “So he’s ready to go back into testing. We’re running very behind because of this… incident.”

“Maybe the guards shouldn’t have shot me,” Todd quipped.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have run away.”

Todd shrugged. “Maybe you shouldn’t kidnap people.”

Wilson opened their mouth to respond, probably to call Todd a bitch, but Reese interrupted. “Hey now, we’re all enemies here. No need to start a fight.”

Todd wanted to laugh. He wanted to do so many things. 

“Let’s just get this over with,” Wilson sighed.

One of the guards pushed Todd’s shoulder to make him walk. Todd wasn’t prepared for the weight shift and gasped as the pain shot through his leg. Reese practically leaped to catch him from falling to the ground. 

Todd held himself up with one arm on bed and the other arm around Reese. He looked into Reese’s eyes, his glasses were crooked. Did he do that?

He wanted to make a comment, something about how he kept falling for Reese, but their company would probably hate that.

“You okay?” Reese asked softly. His eyes sparkled again. God, Todd was a sucker for eyes that sparkled.

Todd nodded and adjusted himself so he was standing properly. And then, for some strange reason he couldn’t figure out, he reached up and fixed Reese’s glasses.

“Thanks?”

Todd’s stomach flipped. That was weird. He didn’t know why he did that. He felt like an awkward high schooler, trying to do things for a crush to get attention.

_ Was it working? _

“Can we get a move on, now? We’re on a constricting schedule,” Wilson demanded.

Todd snapped out of it. His stomach sank, because he’s not a high schooler, he’s a prisoner. And Reese wasn’t a crush, he was just a doctor - a doctor that worked for Blackwing.

Todd followed Wilson to the door. Before he left, he turned back to look at Reese, who gave him a sad smile. Todd turned back to the door and left his little safe place. They led him down a countless number of hallways. They passed the usual rooms he was in for testing and passed his cell. His leg burned with every step he took. Just as he began wondering if he’d be able to walk any further, they stopped at a door. Wilson grabbed their key card and unlocked the room, and guard grabbed Todd’s arms and pulled him inside. They pushed him into a chair and began strapping him down.

Todd panicked. Was this where they finally killed him? 

On a table beside him, there was a pile of tattoo equipment. No, they weren’t going to kill him. They were going to  _ brand  _ him. They were going to carve the symbol they assigned to him somewhere on his skin. They were giving him a message, that he was going to belong to them permanently.

“We wanted to do this while you were asleep after getting shot, but Doctor Mann wouldn’t let us,” Wilson explained. “But you don’t belong to him. You belong to us.”

The attack hit a lot quicker than any of the others had. Somewhere between etching in the triangle and the circle, Todd could feel knives going through his arm. He tried to scream out but his throat was too dry, he couldn’t make any noise. His throat began closing up, breathing became harder. His vision started getting blurry. He tried to fight it, but eventually, he let the darkness envelop him. It felt like waking up.

All the pain in his body disappeared. He was almost floating, his body felt like nothingness. He felt free.

Todd wandered in the darkness for a long time. He walked for hours, or maybe even days. Endless miles came one after another as he ran, trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel, but there was nothing. It was so dark, he couldn’t even see himself. He could hear a voice calling after him. He tried to run to it but it only seemed to get further away, no matter where he ran. He was trapped. There was never any escape.

As he began comparing this experience to Blackwing, the voice got clearer. It got louder.

“Come back,” the voice said. 

It was Amanda’s voice! That was Amanda calling out to him. She was the voice the last time this happened too. It was his little sister calling out to him, trying to reach him.

“Back to where?” Todd begged.

“Back home!”

Amanda’s voice echoed in his ears. But then it cut out like a connection had been lost. The darkness began to get fuzzy around Todd until it became unbearably bright. When his eyes focused on the light he recognized where he was immediately. A chill of fear went down his spine. This beach had bad memories that he didn’t want to relive.

He kicked his feet in the sand, trying to prevent the dirt from getting in his shoes.

“I did tell you to wear sandals,” Dirk reminded as he grabbed Todd’s hand.

Instantly, Todd was taken back in time. He melted into Dirk as easily as he did before the breakup. Any worries of reliving bad memories were gone because they hadn’t existed yet. He was there, holding Dirk’s hand on the beach because he’d never done that before. His heart is about to be broken and he doesn’t even know it.

“You’re not exactly in beach attire, either.”

“Well, if I’m being honest, I wasn’t planning on coming to the beach. It just seemed like the right place to be,” Dirk explained.

They walked around for a few more feet before laying out their blanket away from the rest of the people. It was a hot day, so the beach was popular, but Dirk and Todd wanted to be alone. They separated themselves from the crowd and sat a few feet away from the water.

Dirk stared at the sunset. His eyes sparkled in the sunlight. Todd was a sucker for eyes that sparkled. He swooned at the very sight of Dirk.

“Todd, can I ask you a question?” He didn’t look away from the horizon.

“Of course.” Todd didn’t look away from Dirk. His heart was full. Whenever he was around Dirk, he felt like he was floating.

But Dirk’s heart was heavy with fear. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “What did you mean the other day when you said you’d never get married?”

Todd shivered. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation. He didn’t think he’d ever have to be. “It’s just not something I ever saw for myself.”

Dirk turned to face Todd. “It’s not something you saw for  _ us,  _ you mean?”

“I- What?”

“Do you not see us getting married in the future?”

Todd took in a deep breath. The pit in his stomach seemed to grow larger and larger each second. “It’s a little early for that, don’t you think?”

Dirk shook his head. “No. We’ve been together for nearly three years. I don’t think it’s too early to think about our future together if we’re going to have one.”

There was the first crack in Todd’s heart, one small crack getting closer and closer to breaking. It burned in his chest. 

Dirk sighed. “Our anniversary is two months away, and I was going to propose to you. But if you’re going to say no, then why should I waste my time?”

The crack ran deeper, like an ax chopping away at a tree. Todd tried to speak but he couldn’t make any sound. 

They were both silent for a moment. It dragged on forever. Something had shifted between them at that moment and their entire relationship was standing on thin ice. One wrong move and they’d both be pulled down into a bottomless cold pit of  _ nothingness.  _ Three years of Heaven came crashing down in thirty seconds of Hell.

They stared at each other, eyes beginning to fill with tears. Both of them knew where this was going.

Dirk looked away first. His eyes were glued back to the sunset. This time, they didn’t sparkle. “If this relationship isn’t going anywhere, then maybe we should just end it now before it kills us.”

The ice cracked. There was a sound in Todd’s chest that ripped through the universe. It was the sound of velcro ripping, a thunder strike, a car crashing, fireworks exploding, glass shattering, a building burning, and a volcano erupting. It was the sound of his heart breaking. He’d remember that sound forever because it echoed in his ears every time he thought of that night.

“You’re breaking up with me?” He couldn’t breathe. He was hanging on to life by a thread. 

Dirk closed his eyes and the tears began falling. “I don’t want to. But I think I have to.”

The light started fading away. Todd reached out for Dirk desperately in a hopeless attempt to get him to stay but it was too late. Dirk vanished as darkness surrounded Todd. He was back in the same emptiness as before. So he screamed. He screamed incoherent profanities into the darkness until his throat burned more than his chest. He screamed loud enough so he couldn’t hear his heart breaking. He screamed until the tears in his eyes ran dry. He screamed until his stomach was so upset he felt like he was going to throw up. He screamed until he woke up.

Reality came crashing down around him. He inhaled as if his lungs had been completely empty. His throat was on fire. He felt like he had been shot, again. He opened his eyes and saw Reese standing over him with tears in his eyes. He was saying something, but the ringing in Todd’s ears was too loud for him to hear anything. What was he freaking out so much about? Reese turned his head and shouted at someone. Todd closed his eyes again. He tried to focus on breathing. Why did it hurt so much to breathe? Where was the pain coming from? He wanted it to go away. He wanted to go back to the nothingness before Dirk was there.

“Todd. Look at me. Todd, please. You’re okay, just look at me. Please,” Reese cried.

He opened his eyes again and tried to get ahold of what was going on around him. He was laying on the ground, back in the infirmary. Reese was kneeling over him. He had a hand on Todd’s face, and the other hand on his own heart. Wilson was also there, standing in the corner. They mumbled something about paperwork and left.

“Wha- what happened?” His voice strained. It hurt so bad. Why can’t the pain just go away?

“You just fucking  _ died _ .”

Todd reached up and set his hand on Reese’s forearm. He should have been more shocked that he had died just moments before, but he was too busy being focused on Reese, who was kissing him. He was cautious and kissed Todd slowly. It was nice and soft and perfect and so many other words Todd couldn’t think of right now. Somewhere, very deep down, he wanted to do this forever. He wanted Reese forever, in a way he wasn’t ready to find out. All he could do was weakly hold on to Reese and kiss him back. He didn’t want to stop.

Reese pulled back and dropped his head onto Todd’s chest.

“I was so scared, Todd,” He cried.

Todd ran his fingers through Reese’s hair. “I’m okay. Besides, it wasn’t even the first time I died.”

Reese lifted his head. “What?!”

“In Wendimoor, an evil witch lady killed me. But then Francis showed up and brought me back, good as new two minutes later.”

Reese chuckled through his tears, “At least it was easy for him! It took me ten minutes to get you back. I thought-”

“But you did it. I’m fine.” Todd set a hand on Reese’s cheek and wiped away his tears.

Reese closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He relaxed into Todd’s hand.

“I don’t want you to go back,” He whispered. He repositioned himself so he laid next to Todd, with his head resting on his chest.

It was an intimate moment. Todd closed his eyes and imagined he was back home. He imagined that the cold hard floor beneath him was his warm soft bed that he could wake up in every morning. He imagined that the doctor that just kissed him was his boyfriend who he could take out to dinner and make out with in the movie theater and cuddle with every night. He imagined Dirk was in the room right next to them, holding onto someone who could love him the right way, because no matter what happened, he wanted Dirk to be happy.


	6. On My Own

Todd tried his best not to dwell on the kiss. It was small and quick and they didn’t talk about it after it happened. He tried to convince himself that it didn’t mean anything. He kept telling himself that it was just a spur of the moment thing and that when his heart jumps every time he looks at Reese it’s just because he’d saved him and not because he  _ definitely _ wants to kiss him again. Okay, maybe Todd did want to kiss Reese again, but there was a million reason why he couldn’t. All of them being Blackwing. There was no way he could be in a relationship with someone from Blackwing. How does he know that Reese isn’t secretly evil? What would happen when Todd got out? Would Reese quit his job?  _ Could  _ he quit his job? Todd had a feeling that quitting Blackwing wasn’t an option, he just had no idea the reasons  _ Reese  _ couldn’t quit.

Todd sat in his bed, back pressed against the bitter wall.

“This concludes today’s testing. You have done a  ** _VERY BAD_ ** job.”

Todd sighed and closed his eyes. It was the same message every night. He always does a “very bad” job. He’s always wrong. He failed everything. He’s a failure, he always has been and nothing is ever going to change. He knows he’ll never make it out of Blackwing. He knows none of his friends want him to get out. He knows Dirk hates him. He knows he’s useless.

He was beginning to accept this as his new reality. He was going to stay in Blackwing forever. Reese was the only person that cares about him.

Todd’s door opened. He watched Priest walk into his room. Neither of them said anything as Priest sat in the wooden chair across from Todd’s bed.

Five minutes of intimidating silence passed before Priest broke the tension. “Zero. I think it’s time you and I had a little chat.”

Todd didn’t flinch. Maybe he should have. Maybe he should have known that the only good thing that’s happened to him was too good to be true. Maybe he should have known that Blackwing was too evil to let him have any sliver of happiness. But he didn’t. He didn’t know anything. He was blissfully ignorant.

“That’s not my name, Osmund.”

Priest pursed his lips and leaned forward like he was ready to pounce. “Believe it or not, I’m not here to pick a fight. I’m here to stake a claim.”

Todd rolled his eyes. He wasn’t in the mood for this. He was never in the mood for this. “Stake a claim? What? Did I eat too many mashed potatoes at lunch and you’re worried there’s not enough for the rest of your prisoners?”

Priest’s eye twitched in annoyance. Todd could tell he wasn’t having any fun.

Good.

“You really have no business being this full of piss and vinegar, boy.”

Piss and vinegar. Todd took that as a compliment.

Priest’s evil smile turned into a grimace. “You’re encroaching on my property and I will not stand for it.”

“Your property? You kidnapped me, remember?”

“I ain’t talking about you!” He stood up and towered over Todd. “You’ve been flirting a bit too much with my boy and I won’t have it. You can cut the shit or I’ll cut off your hands, got it? Is that easy enough for your tiny brain to understand?”

And there it is. The other shoe just dropped. His boy. Reese.

Todd’s heart was on its way to breaking. He could feel it counting down from ten.

But he couldn’t let Priest win that easily.

“You have a boy? Who’d be insane enough to like a monster like you?”

Of course, Todd knew the answer, but hearing Priest say it made his blood run cold.

“Reese.” His evil smile returned as he chuckled. “Reese would.”

Another step closer. Nine.

Todd’s breath hitched. He had to remind himself to breathe. He was dizzy. The entire world was spinning and getting ready to crash down on him.

Then he remembered that this is all a game. If he wants to win, he has to choose his own moves.

“Who’s Reese?”

Priest threw his head back and laughed. A deep sound of amusement echoed out of his throat. It was the type of sound that made Todd think he was descending into Hell.

“You know damn well who. Cute little Doctor Mann.”

Eight.

Todd couldn’t breathe. The pressure of existence was crushing his skull. What was he supposed to do? Admit to  _ Osmund Priest _ that he liked his boyfriend? And worse, that his boyfriend has kissed him? No. If it’s true, then Reese doesn’t mean anything anymore. He’s just another part of the game.

As hard as he tried, Todd wouldn’t take his eyes off Priest. He stared at the pile of flaming shit and he muttered something only the dumbest person alive would say. It’s a good thing Todd died two weeks ago.

“Trouble in paradise, Ozzy? Maybe you should talk about it with your partner.”

Priest’s eyes widened in shock. A spark of joy jumped in Todd’s heart until he remembered what he was doing here. Priest took a half step back, and Todd almost thought he was going to turn around and leave. Then, with a sickening crack echoing through the room, Priest’s fist connected with Todd’s jaw. Seven.

The pain spread throughout his body quickly. It was the first time Priest had  _ actually _ hit him. His brain spun. He held his jaw for a few moments, trying to slow down and regain control of his thoughts. He was dizzy, his lip was bleeding. It was a nice reminder he could still feel things.

“You better watch your damn mouth, Zero. The last thing you want is to be beaten with no one to find you in here,” Priest spat.

Maybe that was enough to smarten him up for the moment. Six.

He kept his mouth shut.

Priest took in a deep breath and cracked his fingers. “Now, if I see you pulling this shit with Reese again, you’re gonna be dealin' with a lot more than a split lip.” He bent down so he could breathe fire in Todd’s face. He grabbed Todd by his hair and pulled his head up so it tugged painfully at the roots. “Do I make myself clear?” Five.

An involuntary groan escaped Todd’s throat as Priest pulled his hair. He licked the blood off his lips. “Yeah.”

Priest huffed with satisfaction and dropped Todd. Without any second thought, he turned on his heel and walked out of his cell, leaving Todd alone again to stew in his own self-hatred. Todd didn’t have to wonder where he was off to. He was going to see Reese, possibly to threaten him. Mostly likely to congratulate him on  _ ruining  _ Todd. 

He such an idiot. He let this happen. He should have known that Reese was one of them. There’s no such thing as a good guy here.

He considered all the possibilities.

  1. Priest was lying to him. He and Reese have nothing between each other, and this was just another scare tactic. Todd trusted Reese, and maybe that wasn’t a mistake.
  2. Priest was telling part of the truth. He and Reese are together, but Reese only pretended to care about Todd to use his trust against him.
  3. Priest was telling the whole truth. He and Reese are together and Reese genuinely fell for Todd and Priest knew nothing about it.

Todd knew Priest wasn’t the kind to lie. He already had so much power over Todd, he didn’t need to make up a story to break him. If he wanted to hurt him through Reese, he could just kill him. But there’s only one reason he wouldn’t do that; if he loved him - or whatever Priest’s version of “love” is. Priest loved Reese in his own twisted way. Four.

Fuck.

Todd needed to talk to Reese. He needed to know the truth.

Slowly, he pulled himself out of his bed and walked over to his door. He knocked on it, hoping whichever guard was on duty was dumb enough to fall for his trick.

“What do you want, Project Zero?” Someone shouted from the other side of the door.

“I need to go see the doctor.”

A stiff moment passed before anything happened. Todd was almost ready to give up when his door opened just a crack. “Why? Are you sick or something?”

He shivered. If there was one thing he knew he was good at, it was lying. “I think I’m going to have a pararibulitis attack.”

He didn’t expect it to actually work, but luckily the guards thought his attacks were fucked up and they didn’t want to be responsible for him dying again. Within three minutes, Todd was standing outside the infirmary door. There was a chair in the hall. He paced and waited. He sat and waited. He waited and waited. This was the worst part. He couldn’t just walk in, the door was locked. He had to wait for Reese. He hated waiting. He wanted to run in there, gun blazing, start screaming. But he knew getting angry wasn’t the right choice. 

“Go to your happy place.” He could remember Dirk saying. Whenever he was mad at someone or something, Dirk would tell him that to help him calm down. It used to work so well. His happy place used to be Dirk, but then they broke up and Dirk hates him and he doesn’t have any friends now. When he was in experiments his happy place became Reese and well, that’s not particularly calming at the moment either. So he closed his eyes and imagined something he knew would make him feel better. He pictured Priest, on his knees and crying, terrified, all hope and power drained out of him. He pictured himself, holding the gun to Priest’s head as he begged for his life. He pictured himself pulling the trigger, and watching what was left of a soul leave Priest’s body. A chill went down his back as he smiled at his new happy place. He made a mental note that he definitely wouldn’t mind that one coming true.

The door opened aggressively.

“Zero. Come in,” Reese instructed.

Todd mentally groaned.  _ Zero.  _ Because he can’t call him  _ Todd _ in front of the guards. He walked in. Three.

“Are you okay? Did you have an attack?”

Todd shook his head, still looking at the ground. “No, I lied. I just had to see you.”

“Oh, well I’m sorry this is the only way you can see me. But I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you. I guess we have some stuff to talk about, don’t we?”

Todd looked up. “Yeah.”

He saw just enough of Reese’s smile to watch it fall. “Oh God. Who hit you? Are you okay? What happened?” He reaches up and held Todd’s face, carefully inspecting the bruise that was forming.

“Priest.” He flinched and stepped back. “Priest hit me. Right after telling me that you’re his boyfriend and that I’m getting a little too close for comfort. This was my warning to stay away from you.”

Reese swore under his breath. His arms fell beside him. His face showed his heartbreak. “I don’t know how he found out.” Two.

Todd gulped. “So it’s true. You’re his…”

Reese closed his eyes for a second, trying desperately to navigate the moment correctly. “Yeah? I don’t want it to be. But it is. I’m sorry.”

One. He heard that sound again. It was the same soul-crushing noise that ripped through his chest when Dirk broke up with him. His heart shattered and this time he had done it to himself.

“Fuck,” Todd breathed. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “Fuck you.”

Reese took a step closer to Todd. “Wait, let me explain.”

Todd shook his head and stepped back. “No. You don’t get to explain. You lied to me. That’s explanation enough.” 

Tears were already building up in Reese’s eyes. “Todd, you don’t understand.”

“But I do. You lied just to hurt me. You made me trust you, you got me to fall for you so that I would tell you everything about me and Dirk and all the other people that have suffered in this hell that  _ you’re working for. _ You’ve always been one of them.”

“But that’s not true. You can trust me. I didn’t lie. I just… I couldn’t tell you about this.”

Todd looked up at the ceiling to prevent his tears from falling. “I’m such an idiot.” He turned back down to look at Reese. He felt like he was going to puke. “I’ve been openly falling for you since the day I got here and the whole time you’ve been  _ fucking  _ the guy that did this to me and to Dirk and his whole family.”

Reese’s jaw clenched. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Todd.”

Todd ignored him. “And yeah, you did lie. You deliberately withheld the truth. You’re evil. I never should have let myself fall for you.”

Reese took another step closer. His face was red from a mixture of embarrassment and anger. “You don’t understand the situation. You, of all people, should know I had my reasons for lying.”

Todd froze. A tear slid down his cheek. No, that shouldn’t be happening. He shouldn’t be crying. He’s not sad. He’s angry. “No. I, of all people, understand that there’s  _ never  _ a good enough reason.”

A wave of regret washed over Reese. His eyes widened. “No wait, I didn’t mean that.”

“It doesn’t matter what you meant!” Todd snapped. “What matters is that you lied. And besides, you’d have to be a pretty fucked up person to get into a relationship with him, to begin with. Better to know now, right?”

He had to get out of there. He needed to be away from Reese, away from Priest, free from Blackwing. He wanted to go  _ home.  _ He turned and began walking toward the door.

Reese stood planted in his spot, shocked to his core at Todd’s words. “You think  _ I’m  _ fucked up? What about you, Todd? You lied to your entire family about having a disease. What right do you have to judge me?”

Todd skidded to a stop, just inches from the door. He snapped around to face Reese again. “I’ve changed! I trusted you and you betrayed me.”

Reese wanted to apologize. He wanted to say tell Todd that he couldn’t just leave Priest. Nobody  _ breaks up  _ with Osmund Priest. He wanted to tell Todd that when their relationship began he was broken and scared and Priest was the only person that looked out for him. He wanted to tell Todd that in the beginning, he thought that Priest was doing good things. He wanted Todd to know that Priest is the only reason he’s still alive. Mostly, he wanted Todd to know that he didn’t mean half the words he was saying. But he couldn’t tell him any of that.

“I never told you I was single. You never asked if I was dating anyone. How was I supposed to casually bring that up?”

“You kissed me! Two weeks ago after you brought me back to life, you held me and you kissed me. People with boyfriends don’t go around kissing other people.” Todd cried. He let the tears fall because, no matter how much he pretended, he was so sad. He was heartbroken all over again. He took a deep breath. “I have to leave.” He turned back to the door, secretly hoping Reese would stop him. His heart begged for Reese to grab him and kiss him and tell him he’s sorry and that Priest means nothing. And as much as Reese wanted to do all of those things, he didn’t. He let Todd leave. He was escorted back to his cell, where he did not sleep. He laid in his bed and cried until his alarms went off.

Reese fell on to the ground below him, holding his knees into his chest. “Fuck!” He screamed into his hand. “What have I done?"


	7. There Are Worse Things I Could Do

As the days went on Todd did everything he could to avoid Reese. Mainly, he tried his best to not get punched in the face. It wasn’t as hard as he had expected it to be. He’d assumed that after Priest hit him the first time, he wouldn’t stop. But Priest saw how broken Todd was, and he was loving it. No more sassy comments from a bitchy subject. He had to admit, though, that he liked having someone to challenge him. There was something exciting about Todd, but he was a lot more fun when he was broken. A sweet, submissive subject. After his warning, Todd was good. He followed orders, he kept his head down and watching his mouth. Priest made sure to keep an eye out of him, and he hadn’t seen Reese since the day he was warned to stay away. It had only been four days, but it was an improvement.

Todd didn’t see it that way. He missed Reese. He wanted to change the circumstances. He wanted to meet Reese outside of Blackwing. He wanted Reese to not secretly be a shitty person. He wanted to kiss and kiss and kiss him. But that wasn’t reality. Reese fucked up and now Todd was dealing with the consequences. He was so sad.

Reese hated himself. He wanted nothing more than for Todd to come running into the infirmary one day and say “I love you. Choose me.” And he would because he might love Todd more than anything else. His heart aches without him. He knows he messed it all up. He should have been honest with Todd from the beginning, but he was embarrassed. He hated being with Priest. He didn’t always hate it. When it started, he was naive. He trusted Priest. He had gotten Reese a good job and he treated him like a prince. He was romantic and funny and hid everything about him that made him a monster. Reese will admit, that looking back there were signs. Like that time when they were celebrating their one year anniversary, and Priest was complaining about  _ Icarus  _ not being complicit. The next day, Dirk came into the infirmary with bruises covering his side. Reese wanted to believe that Priest didn’t do that.  _ His Osmund  _ could never hurt anyone. In the back of his mind, he knew what a monster Priest was, but it took him too long to acknowledge it. As soon as Priest noticed the spark was gone, there was a new set of rules for Reese. He couldn’t leave the Blackwing facility unless he was with Priest. He had a Blackwing issued phone, but everything he does on it is tracked by - guess who - Priest. He was constantly under surveillance, being watched at every turn. He was trapped there, too. He was a prisoner. And he was never going to be free.

The world illuminated around Todd and his eyes became focused on the light. He was sitting under a willow tree. The beautiful leaves flowed around him. He recognized this one. It had a very unique branch that bent down and twisted around itself. It was the willow tree that was in his backyard growing up. He stood up and reached out to one of the branches. It was damp. It rained recently. Something tugged in his heart. He couldn't stop moving here. He was on a mission. He had to find something. Anything. He pushed the wall of leaves out of his way and he stepped out from under the tree.

He should have been in his own backyard, the one he hadn't seen in 17 years, but he wasn't. He was surrounded by more trees. It was a forest, an unrecognizable one.

"Todd!"

He spun around to face the voice calling out to him.

Amanda stood there, smiling from ear to ear. "I can't believe this worked!" She beamed.

He ran to her, pulling his sister into a hug. "Is it really you?"

"It's me, Todd. It's really me. The Rowdies are doing a thing and I'm really here talking to you! I'm so glad you're not dead."

Todd chuckled and let go of his embrace. "Me too. Wait, what do you mean the Rowdies are doing a thing?"

She shrugged. "It's complicated. With their energy thing and you and I having pararibulitis, they were able to connect our consciousnesses, which sounds like a fake word, and I was able to project myself into your mind."

"So this is really really you? I'm not just dreaming this?"

Amanda smiled with pride. "We have magic powers, Todd. There's no way you're dreaming this."

Todd took a deep breath. He could feel the tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He didn't cry this often before Blackwing, did he? "What are you doing here?"

"I missed you. We all have. We've been so worried. Dirk said that Priest mentioned negotiating to get you back, but nothing has happened."

Todd gulped. "I think they plan on keeping me here for a long time."

"God," she scoffed. "Do they have a plan or something?"

"I don't know. They just keep telling me that I deserve to be here and that none of my friends want me to go home."

Amanda narrowed her eyes. "Bitches. We all want you home. Friends and family alike."

Todd flinched. "What did you tell mom and dad?"

"That a secret government agency is holding you captive and probably torturing you and that they should be concerned for their son's life," She deadpanned.

"And how well did that go?"

"They didn't believe me. So I told them that you needed some time away after your break up with Dirk and that you went off the grid and to not expect to hear from you for a while. They told me to tell you that they just want what's best for you."

Todd rolled his eyes. "That's their way of saying they never approved of Dirk, to begin with."

"Oh yeah." She nodded. "They were very vocal about their distaste for his career choice."

Todd laughed. "Being a private detective is hard work! I would know, I've been assisting one for three and a half years."

Amanda shot her hands up in defense. "Hey! No need to defend him to me! I fully support Dirk's career and fashion choices."

A pit grew in Todd's stomach. His smile fell. "He's probably happy I'm gone."

Amanda's eyes grew wide. "What? Not even a little! Todd, he's a complete mess without you. Farah and I have been taking turns staying with him because he can't sleep in the apartment alone. And even with us there, his nightmares are worse now than they have been in a long time. He blames himself for you getting taken. He thinks that if he was with you that night, they would have taken him. He thinks he should have been the one."

The pit grew larger. "No. They need me for something. I'm not quite sure what, but Dirk is safe, I think."

"How do you know they need you for something?"

"There's been a few things that happened recently. I'm an idiot. They could have killed me but, they didn't."

She punched his shoulder. "Stop doing things that could get you killed! And what did you do, idiot?"

"I've missed you too, sis." He shook his head. "And long story short, I just pissed of Priest, a lot."

Amanda smirked. "Pissed of Mr. Priest and lived to tell the tale. Now tell it."

That pit in his stomach was now a pit in his chest. It was large and painful and he didn't want to relive the pain Reese put him through. But he needed to. He needed to vent all of his feelings and scream about what Reese did to him. So he started at the beginning and told Amanda everything. He told her about how Reese was the only one there that treated him like a person. He told her about all the ways Reese can make him laugh. He told her about how he got shot and spent a few days with him in the infirmary. He told her about the day he heard her voice, dreamed of Dirk and died. And how upon reviving him, Reese kissed him for the first time. He smiled as he told her how amazing it felt to be kissed by him. And he nearly cried when he told her about the day Priest told him the truth.

She held a hand over her mouth. "Dude. That's fucked up."

He shivered. "I just can't believe I let myself fall for him."

Her hand fell. "No, I mean. It's fucked up that you didn't let him explain himself. Dude, this guy is in love with you, right? And it's not like he can just break up with Priest. I've never met this fucker but oh my god, you do not break up with Mr. Priest."

Todd shook his head. "No, he doesn't love me, Amanda. He lied. I can't get over that."

"Boo fucking hoo! Dirk lied to you once and you were in love with him for three years. You have to think about this from his perspective. How long has he been working for Blackwing?"

"Seven years," he knew the answer off the top of his head. He wasn't sure when he learned that information.

"Seven years! That means that he's been in a probably abusive relationship for seven years. That's not something that you can easily work into conversation."

Todd gulped. "It's not just that. I mean, what if he was working with him? What if everything I said to him he just went and told Priest. I mean, I told him a lot of stuff about Dirk and the agency and what if Priest has that information now and he's sent people to you guys and had you all killed all because I'm too gay to keep any information a secret around a cute guy?"

Amanda tried not to laugh at her brother, but she failed. "Dude, oh my god, you're ridiculous. We're all safe here. If Priest wanted us, he'd know how to find us without using you. I mean, he got to you in the middle of the night with no problems. There's a huge sign on the door with Dirk's name on it. You are overthinking this. This has nothing to do with Priest or the fact that the doctor lied. I think you're just not over Dirk."

Todd froze. His brain shut down as he tried to correct her. He couldn't say anything.

"Come on. We've been standing here too long. Let's go for a walk."

She turned on her heel and walked along a path that wasn't there ten seconds ago. Todd followed her in silence for ten minutes before finally working up the courage to ask, "What the hell do you mean I'm not over Dirk?"

She stopped walking abruptly and turned to a tree. It was the only tree with no leaves on it. It looked like this one was plucked out of the middle of winter and dropped right here in the springtime with all of the others. "Let's climb this tree."

"What?"

"No time to waste!" She shouted back at him as she grabbed a branch and began pulling herself up.

Todd hopped up after her. "What's the- what's the point of this?" He groaned as he nearly lost his balance.

"We used to climb a lot as kids. Why not, right?"

Within seconds, she was already halfway up the tree. Todd was still balancing on the first branch he started on. She was like a spider monkey.

"Come on! Last on to the top is a rotten egg!"

Todd was a rotten egg, but at least he had made it to the top. He was proud of himself for that. They sat on branches opposite from each other. Amanda looked like she could do that again six more times. Todd was completely out of breath.

"Jeez, the last time I did that, I was drunk."

"I don't know how you're better at climbing when you're drunk. But, as the winner here, I'm not going to complain."

Todd shook his head and laughed. "Just wait 12 years, you won't be able to climb that fast when you're my age."

She stuck her tongue out at him, and just like that, they were kids again. Climbing trees after school because their parents always worked late and it was the only thing Todd could think of that entertained his little sister for longer than ten minutes.

"It was a lot easier when I was 20."

Amanda scoffed. "It was a lot harder when I was 8! I wasn't strong enough to pull myself up."

"And yet, you still beat me."

"You always let me win, I could tell."

"No way. My ego was too big back then. There was no way I let you win,” he joked. Of course, he always did let his little sister win. Because of their big difference in age, Todd always went out of his way to make sure Amanda felt important. He never wanted her to feel like she was a burden on him because she never was. From the day she was born, she was his best friend.

"You really were the best brother to grow up with."

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry there were a few years where I was the worst. I wish I could take it back."

Amanda's face softened. "You already did. You've changed, Todd. I've forgiven you for everything. Whatever happened isn't who you are. You're the brother that basically raised me because our parents were always too busy to pick me up from school. You're the brother that put off top surgery for two years when I came out to help me transition. You're the brother that made me laugh when I was crying, that taught me monsters weren't real, and that made me feel confident to be who I am and say 'fuck you' to anyone who said I shouldn't. You're not the brother who lied. He's a different person. You're the best brother I could have gotten."

Todd shook his head. "I don't know how to not fuck things up."

"You're a good person, Todd. You just need to remind yourself of that."

He watched as a tear dropped off of his cheek and landed on his pants. "I have trust issues because of something I did. That's a whole new level of fucked-up."

"You're not broken. You're just not in a great situation. You're going to get out of here soon. I know it. And when you do, you'll be able to bring Reese with you. Don't you want that?"

Todd nodded slowly. "I want to be with him."

"Then you have to let go of your feelings for Dirk."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because that's the whole reason you haven't given Reese a chance yet. That's the reason you got so upset about him not telling you about Priest. You've been looking for a reason for it to not work out. But holding to the thought of another time isn’t going to help anyone. It's time for you to move on."

Todd shook his head. "I don't know how."

"Let go."

He was no longer sitting on a branch, but he was now hanging from it. His hands were slowly slipping away. He was going to fall. "Why are you doing this?!"

Amanda looked down at him. "This is all your subconscious, Todd. Whatever is happening to you, you're doing to yourself. You have to let go."

He looked down. The tree must have gotten taller. He couldn't see the ground. He looked back up to Amanda. "I don't want to leave you. I miss you."

"We're gonna get you out soon, don't worry."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again she was gone. He was alone. He knew he had to let go. He trusted her.

He let the branch slip out of his fingers and he fell. He could see the other branches hitting him as he fell, but he felt nothing. He was free. He was flying.

When he woke up he was disappointed to find that he was still in his cell. Part of him hoped that Reese would be there. He wanted to run to Reese. He wanted to hear Reese say “I love you and I choose you.” And he would say “I love you, too,” because there’s no longer any doubt in his mind that it’s true.


	8. A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into

After his talk with Amanda, the hope in Todd’s chest grew a little more. He had faith that he was going to get out and he had the reassurance that his family was safe. Part of him was still convinced it was a  _ very  _ realistic dream, but mostly, he believed it was real. It wouldn’t be the craziest thing that’s happened to him. He spent a few days thinking about it. He tried to carefully construct the words to apologize to Reese but the furthest he got was “I’m an idiot with trust issues.” He knew it was useless. He said some shitty things to Reese and he didn’t deserve forgiveness. But he wanted to try.

It was day 63. Instead of the guards taking him to his normal testing room, they brought him to the infirmary.

"Dr. Mann said that there was an issue with the medicine for your weird... thing. So he requested that you have the day off from testing so he can keep an eye on you." A guard explained.

Todd's stomach flipped. A day without testing sounded fantastic, but a whole day locked in a room with Reese sounded horrifying - in all the best ways. His brain spun around the million things that could happen. But all of it came to a screeching halt when Reese opened the door.

"Project Zero, come in."

He knew he was only calling him that because of the guards, but after everything that's happened, it stung.

He followed Reese inside and waiting for the door to close safely behind them. They were alone. Todd looked around the room and found it unrecognizable.

The bed was pushed into a corner, and a table sat in the middle of the room. It was set with a cute red picnic blanket, with plates and cups and napkins and other luxuries he had forgotten where so nice to have. There was food, too. Simple foods; sandwiches and chips that he never thought he'd taste again. Reese had even brought drinks, there were tea and pop and a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling cider that seemed to hold out more hope that it was meant to. There were unlit candles that made Todd feel things he had thought he'd given up on. The sight of it all brought tears to Todd's eyes.

"Is it too much? I wanted to do something for you to show how sorry I am and I don't really have much but I thought you might enjoy an edible lunch, considering how awful the food here is. Oh God, it is too much, isn't it? You probably hate me after everything, and I totally understand if you never forgive me but, I hate what I did, Todd. I'm so sorry."

Todd shook his head. "It's not too much. And I want to forgive you."

Reese looked like ten years of stress had been lifted off of him. He relaxed greatly as he wrapped his arms around Todd's torso, only to stiffen again when Todd took a step back.

"I want to. But I need you to tell me why first. They say the truth will set you free."

Reese nodded and took a breath. "Let's sit. I'll tell you everything you want to know."

Todd sat in the chair across from Reese. He took notice of the small potted flowers in the center before asking, "When did you start seeing him?"

"About seven years ago, when I started working here. He was the one that got me hired. He would take me out on dates and tell me all about the great things Blackwing was doing. I believed him for a long time."

"When did you stop believing him?"

"Only a couple of years ago. I started to notice that the people I was treating weren't causing damage to themselves, it was all of the testing and torture that was making them hurt. Dirk was the one that really got to me. He was too good to hurt other people. So when he was here, I started noticing the patterns a little more. I tried to ignore it. I gave Oz the benefit of the doubt for far too long. But then it just became too obvious. When I started to question him, he..." Reese paused. He was starting to get choked up. He took a deep breath and blinked his tears away. "I tried to leave and he wouldn't let me."

"I'm a dick," Todd sighed.

"No!" Reese shook his head. He pulled his chair over so he was sitting next to Todd. "I would have reacted the same way if I were you. I shouldn't have lied and I shouldn't have said what I did about you lying. I know that's not who you are. I'm sorry."

"I forgive you."

A flash of excitement sparkled in Reese's eyes. In a swift movement, he grabbed Todd's face and pulled him into the most exhilarating kiss either of them has ever had in their lives. It was completely unlike their first kiss. Their first kiss was out of fear because Reese had almost lost Todd. It was soft because it was new and scary and Todd didn't know how to react. This one was hungry because Reese was running his fingers through Todd's hair and it drove him crazy. It was needy because Reese bit down on Todd's bottom lip and the sound he made wasn't human. It was long because neither of them wanted to leave.

“Hm, wait,” Todd whispered onto Reese’s lips.

Reese pulled back slightly. They were still so close they could hold a piece of paper between their lips. It had only just now occurred to Todd that while they were kissing, Reese had moved. He was sitting on Todd, straddling his lap. Neither of them wanted to get used to how good that felt.

“What?” Reese breathed. He was breathing heavier than normal. Todd’s brain raced through all of the things he could do to Reese to make him out of breath.

“We still need to talk about Priest.”

Reese deflated and moved back to his own seat. “Way to ruin the mood.”

“I know. It’s just if he found out…”

“He won’t!”

“He did.”

Reese took a deep breath and held Todd’s hand. “I let my guard down. But I won’t do that again. I’ve been pretending to be in love with him for three years. I can keep pretending. If you can.”

Todd smiled. He wanted to kiss Reese again - to forget about the worry of Priest and just  _ be.  _ “I think I’ve gotten pretty good at lying over the years.”

Reese laughed softly. “Okay, you are an asshole.”

Todd’s smile grew wider. “So. What does this mean? What are we?”

Reese’s eyes grew eager. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend,” Todd repeated. It sounded so perfect coming from Reese. “I like the sound of that.”


	9. More Than Just A Friend

As the weeks went on Todd discovered a lot about Reese that he didn’t know before. For example; he found out that Reese  _ hates  _ grapes for no particular reason, he loves pets named after other animals and wants to have a dog named Jellyfish and a cat named Snake, he used to do a lot of origami, he’s fluent in French, he got suspended in high school for punching someone who said a racist slur, he convinced his principal to expel the kid he punched, he’s incredibly kind, he loves it when Todd kisses his hand, he’s a bottom, and his giggle makes Todd feel like he’s flying. Todd wanted to learn so much more about Reese. He didn’t see him often, he had his regular weekly appointments because of the pararibulitis, and there have been a handful of times when Todd was “feeling sick” or there was “an issue with his medication” and he got to see his  _ boyfriend. _

And oh how he loved that word.

On the harder days when he couldn’t see Reese, he would lie in his bed at night and whisper it into his pillow to remind himself that there was something more than the pain. During his testing, he would say in his mind over and over so he could feel something other than torture. While he was dragged from room to room he would mumble the word so that when he was pretending to be broken he didn’t forget that it was an act. When he was being taught how to hate Dirk he would think of that word so he could remember what life was really like before Blackwing.

***

_ “This is my boyfriend, Dirk Gently,” Todd gushed. He had been so nervous to introduce Dirk to his parents, but now that the moment was here, everything just felt perfect. _

_ All of Todd’s anxieties melted away as Dirk was hugged tightly by both of his parents. _

_ “Dirk, it is such a pleasure to meet you. I’m Tillda and this is my husband Montgomery.” _

_ “Please, Till is the only one that calls me that. I’m Monty to everyone else.” _

_ “It’s so nice to meet you both. I’m Dirk Gently. Although I suppose you both knew that seeing as Todd already told you. Oh well, in case you’ve forgotten, my name is Dirk Gently. I do rather like saying it aloud. It’s got a nice kickass ring to it, I think-” _

_ Todd set a hand on Dirk’s arm. “Dirk.” _

_ “Oh, should I not have said ‘kickass?’ I’m terribly sorry if cursing offends either of you. Damn, I feel like I should start over. Oh shit, I did it again, didn’t I? Todd, there might be something wrong-” _

_ “Dirk. Calm down.” _

_ Dirk turned and looked in Todd’s eyes. He took a deep breath and relaxed for the first time since hearing the “I want you to meet my parents” talk. _

_ “You haven’t done anything wrong,” Todd reassured. “You’re just spiraling again.” _

_ Dirk nodded and turned back to Todd’s parents with a smile. “You all seem so lovely. I’m happy to be here.” _

_ *** _

Todd laid in the infirmary bed next to Reese, his  _ boyfriend.  _ It’s been three weeks, and he still loves that word more than he expected. He still loves Reese more than he expected. Neither of them has said it, but Todd is pretty sure Reese loves him too.

Reese had his head on Todd's chest. One hand was playing with Todd’s hair and the other was resting perfectly on Todd’s stomach. Their legs were intertwined and it felt like their bodies were meant to lie like this. The bed was small, but neither of them cared, it only made them closer.

“How much longer do you have?” Reese mumbled into Todd’s chest.

Todd lifted Reese’s hand to look at the watch on his wrist. “Five minutes.”

Reese tightened his arms around Todd and turned his head to be face down into Todd’s shirt. He groaned a sentence Todd could only pretend to understand.

“Me too.”

“Todd?”

“Hm?”

Reese took a deep breath. Todd could feel his nerves building up.

“Would you still like me if you weren’t trapped here?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Is this some weird version of Stockholm Syndrome? Do you only have feelings for me because I’m here and you’re lonely?”

Todd ran his fingers through Reese’s hair. “Not at all. I like you because you protect me and because you care about me. And because you’re funny and smart and a terrible dancer but a beautiful singer. I like you because you can make me laugh no matter how upset or scared I am. I like you because you remember the little things that aren’t important and you always say the right words. I like you because of who you are. I would have fallen for you no matter how we met. That sort of makes me feel like you’re my soulmate.”

“Oh, you’re a wide-eyed one with a mind full of wonder, you know that?” Reese sat up and rolled over so he was straddling Todd’s lap. “The guards are going to have to wait for you. I think you’re about to have a pararibulitis attack.”

***

_ Dirk hummed happily as he set another item in the cart. _

_ “What’s that?” Todd asked. _

_ “Cat food.” _

_ Todd cleared his throat. “Dirk we don’t- we don’t have a cat.” _

_ Dirk squinted. “Don’t be ridiculous Todd, of course, we have a cat.” _

_ Todd sighed. He didn’t want to argue with Dirk. If he said they had a cat now, then he should expect to find a cat in their apartment when they go home. According to their landlord, pets are off-limits. But considering Farah now owned the Ridgely and she was the landlord, they could do whatever they wanted. _

_ They checked out at the store and drove home. Todd wasn’t phased by the fully grown tiger, with a sparkly blue collar reading “MONA,” laying on his couch when he got home. _

***

Todd watched Reese carefully as he wrapped a bandage around Todd’s wrist.

“You really should be more careful,” Reese whispered.

“I didn’t know that guy had a knife.”

Reese froze for a moment before returning to wrapping Todd’s hand.

“This seems kind of backward considering you’re the one bandaging me but, are you okay?”

Reese nodded, still looking down at Todd’s hand. He finished the bandage and held Todd’s hand in his.

Todd lifted his injured hand to Reese’s cheek. “What’s wrong?”

Reese leaned into Todd’s hand with a sigh of comfort. “This is going to sound really selfish and awful, but part of me doesn’t want you to get out. When you do, I’m just going to be alone in here and we’ll probably never see each other again and I don’t want that to happen because I  _ really  _ like you.”

Todd swallowed the lump in his throat. “I find it hard to tell you how I wanna run away, but if I get the chance to escape, I hope that you’d come with me.”

A shiver ran down Reese’s back. “I don’t know, Todd. I’m looking for a way out, but I might not be able to. He has me basically tied to a ball and chain.”

“I know but, don’t you want to get out?”

“I- I haven’t been  _ out  _ in seven years. The idea of it is kind of terrifying.”

“Then let’s be terrified together.”

Reese smiled. “It does seem less terrifying with you.”

***

_ “Te iubesc,” Dirk carefully enunciated for Todd. _

_ Todd tried to repeat it. “Tea you besk?”  _

_ Dirk giggled. “Close. You’re almost getting it. Te iubesc.” _

_ “Te iubesc.” _

_ “Yes! That was it!” Dirk praised. He gave Todd a high five. _

_ “Te iubesc,” Todd repeated. “What does it mean?” _

_ Dirk smiled brightly. “It means I love you.” _

_ Todd’s cheeks began to burn. “Oh.” _

_ “I know we haven’t said it yet, but I do. Te iubesc, Todd.” _

_ “Te iubesc, too, Dirk.” _

_ *** _

The alarms went off early that day. Todd only knew that because he didn’t fall asleep that night. He stayed awake thinking about what Reese had said days ago. He’s scared to leave Blackwing because he hasn’t been out in the real world without Priest guarding him in seven years. The idea of that tore Todd’s heart apart. He got nauseous every time he thought of Reese  _ with  _ Mr. Priest. It ate him up inside. He wanted Reese to be happier, and if they jumped together maybe they could swim far enough away from the wreck they’ve made. Todd was scared because, with everything that’s happened, he thinks he knows how this story ends.

They were different alarms, too. He expected the normal “Prepare for testing, Project Zero. Day 86,” robotic voice to come through the speakers. They didn’t. These were worse. Scarier and louder. These were warning alarms. Something was happening.

He jumped out of the bed, trying to calm himself. He reminded himself that it might not be real. It could be a dream or an attack.

But it was real. And he knew that the second his door opened and he saw Reese standing in front of him, with fear in his eyes and some sort of weapon in his hand.

“We have to go. It’s time to get you out of here.”


	10. You'll Be Back

A chill ran up Todd’s spine. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll tell you more on the way, but I have to get you out of here. You’re the first one they’re going to try to find. Let’s go!”

Todd’s heart was beating a mile a minute. Anxiety filled within him. He stared at Reese. What was happening? Reese was breaking him out of Blackwing? After everything that’s happened?

Reese grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his room. “Why don’t have time for you to freak out about this.”

They ran down the hall. Todd’s mind was still spiraling.

The only thing he could ask was, “What time is it?” 

“Two in the morning. The perfect time to break into Blackwing,” Reese explained.

“Someone is breaking _ into _ Blackwing?”

“In here!” Reese stopped at an unmarked door. He unlocked it and pulled Todd inside. “Yes someone is breaking _ into _Blackwing. For you.” He flipped a light switch and Todd could see how small this space was.

“This is a broom closet?”

“Great observation, babe.”

Todd took a deep breath. “What the hell is going on, Reese?”

Reese’s eyes grew worried. “Promise you won’t get mad?”

There wasn’t much room in the closet for anger. Their chests were pressed up against each other. They probably had room to give each other a couple of inches of distance, but neither of them wanted to back away.

Todd nodded.

“You remember Michael Assistent? He used to work here until Friedkin was killed.”

“Yeah, he’s come around the agency a few times to check on Dirk.”

“Okay, so for the past two months, I’ve been talking with him. It hasn’t been easy with Oz watching me, but he got Dirk and all of your friends together to come in and break you out.”

“Two months?” Todd frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Project Valkyres. I don’t know her real name. But when in the same room as her, you can only tell the truth. We couldn’t risk them using her against you if Priest or Ken started getting suspicious.”

Todd shivered. “And what about you? You’re getting out too, right?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Todd, I want to. I want to be with you and I want to be free, but if I get out and he finds me-”

Todd wrapped his arms around Reese’s shoulders. “Te iubesc,” he whispered.

“What does that-” 

“It doesn’t matter. I just had to say it. In case I don’t get to later.”

Reese took a deep breath. He knew what it meant. He could tell by the tone in Todd’s voice and the way that he held him.

Todd pulled away. “So what’s the plan?”

A flash of excitement danced in Reese’s face. “Blackwing is one giant ass square with four entrances, one on each side. The Rowdies are at the West entrances, causes a distraction. That's where everyone is going right now. They think that they are breaking in. They're not, they're only pretending to. Your cell is near the South entrance, where you tried to escape six weeks ago because you're stupid."

"Yeah well, you kissed me after that so I'd say it was worth it."

Reese's cheeks burned. "_ Anyway, _ the guards are going to assume that they're here for you. So Michael is at the South entrance, disguised as a guard. Just in case any real guards head over that way. I have to get you to the East entrance, where Farah is with a stolen Blackwing van to get you out."

Todd took it all in. He was actually getting out of Blackwing. His friends were there, risking their lives to save him. He's going to be free again.

"That all sounds way too easy."

Reese nodded. "That's because it is. They have protocols for bigger things, alien invasions, zombie apocalypse, volcanoes. But they never planned to have someone that works for them try to break out one of their prisoners. I know everything that's going on in their brains, Todd. This plan is foolproof."

Todd took a deep breath. "But it is... Priest proof?"

"Let's hope." He gulped. "So this whole place is set up like a maze. There are guards around nearly every corner. Most of them have left their stations to had to the West end, but most of them are still at their stations in case there are any issues with the prisoners. I know where they all are. As long as you follow me and do everything I say, you'll be a free man shortly."

Todd's breathing shook. "So could you."

Reese's eyes grew sad. He wanted nothing more than to run away with Todd. He was just so scared of what that meant.

"What are we waiting for?"

"A signal from Michael to let us know that the guards aren't swarming your cell. Once we know it's safe, we just have to navigate around to the North entrance."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Always."

"Why do they want me so bad? What's so special about me?"

Reese took a deep breath. There were a million different answers to that question. None of them was an answer Todd would like. They were all painful and ugly and Reese wanted to protect Todd from all of that as long as he possibly could.

A clamoring broke out on the other side of the door. A group of people ran across the hall shouting things at one another. Most of their words were incoherent but there was one sentence that Todd heard over the others.

"Find Icarus!"

"Where's Dirk?" Todd begged.

Reese let out a small sigh of relief at the opportunity to not answer Todd's original question. "We'll be meeting up with him when we get to Farah. Don't worry."

Todd inched closer to Reese. "I have to get to him before they do," he warned.

Reese froze for a moment. All he could do was blink a few times before his brain started to work again. "You can't. We'll get to him soon enough. Plus he's got Mona with him. He's probably the safest of all of us."

"You're sure?"

"I promise."

Todd sighed. He was absolutely terrified. All he wanted was to get to Dirk and he had no idea why. He just knew he had to see him.

There was a sudden rapping at the door. “It’s me! Open up!” a familiar scrawny voice chirped.

Reese rolled his eyes and opened the door. “You were supposed to use the super cool secret code.”

Michael lifted the mask off his face. He looked just as nervous as he always did. “Yeah, I know. I just forgot it. Again. But I got this!” He held out a pile of clothes to Todd.

Todd grabbed the clothes and swiftly changed out of his jumpsuit and into a guard’s uniform.

“You’re going to look out of place without a gun,” Michael remarked.

Reese held out his handgun. “Here. I’m a doctor, I’m going to look out of place with a gun.”

Todd happily took the gun. He never knew much about firearms - that was always Farah’s area of expertise - so he didn’t know the name of the one he was holding. But it was a little heavy and fit in one hand and it made him feel powerful. He liked it.

"Okay, we need to get out of here before any of the other guards show up. Todd, make sure your mask stay on the whole time so the other guards don't see your face. If they know it's you, they will not hesitate to shoot you," Michael explained.

Todd shrugged. "Yeah. I'm aware."

Michael led them out of the closet and down the hall. They followed twists and turns, avoiding any confrontation with the Blackwing bitches. To the workers, it just looked like two guards were leading the doctor to safety. But of course, it was the other way around. Michael hadn't been in Blackwing since the Wendimoor invasion, and he only worked for them for a few months. He didn't remember his way around. Reese was guiding Todd and Michael around like lost puppies.

"Okay, in here." Reese opened another door and lead the other two inside. Once they were in, Todd and Michael removed their masks to properly see. This room was bigger than the last. It looked like some sort of meeting room. It had one long table surrounded by chairs and nothing else.

Except for Dirk.

Before anyone could ask what Dirk was doing in there, Todd lifted his gun and pointed it at Dirk's head.

His mind was spinning. He didn't want to hurt Dirk necessarily, but he had a million voices in his head telling him that he was staring at the enemy. Dirk was dangerous and ruined his life and he was in here because of Dirk. He didn't even want Todd to come home. Why was he here?

"What the hell are you doing?" Reese shouted.

Todd ignored him. "Why are you here?"

Dirk stared down the barrel of the gun. "Todd, please don't do this," he begged. His voice was an ice-cold whisper, thick with fear. Tears filled in his eyes. Nearly four months of searching for Todd and this is what it all comes down to?

Anger built up in Todd's throat. "You're the reason I was trapped in here! You did this to me."

Dirk shook his head and took a tiny step backward. "No, Todd, please."

"You've been lying to me this whole time. You never cared about me."

"That's not true. Why are you doing this?" Dirk cried.

"They'd been planning this for three years, Dirk. And you were in on it the whole time."

"No! I've been trying to get you out."

Todd stepped closer to Dirk. "You know how I knew that you were in on it? They took me on what would have been our third anniversary. And I know there aren't any coincidences when it comes to you, Dirk."

Dirk gulped. "And you think killing me is going to fix everything?"

"You're dangerous. I have to protect myself."

"Do it, then," Dirk whispered. "If this is what's supposed to happen. Get it over with."

Todd's finger lifted off the trigger. "What?"

"Life has been hell for the past six months, Todd. Everything that's happened has brought us to this moment. So do it. Put me out of my misery. Do it to protect yourself. Whatever excuse you need to tell yourself, just do it. I'd prefer it to be you, anyway."

Todd gritted his teeth as his finger wrapped around the trigger again.

"Don't let them win!" Reese interjected.

Todd's body relaxed slightly at the sound of Reese's voice.

"Todd, if you do this, you're letting them win."

Todd tore his eyes away from Dirk to look at Reese, who looked more terrified than Dirk did somehow.

"He's one of them!"

Reese stepped closer to Todd. He slowly inched his way between him and Dirk. "No, he's not. Everything they've been telling you has been lies. You know that. I told you the first week you were here, they were just brainwashing you into thinking Dirk was a threat, but it's not true. You know that somewhere deep down. You once told me that you'll always love him, right?"

Todd shivered. "That was- that was before." What was happening?

Reese reached up and grabbed the gun out of Todd's hand and carefully set it on the table beside him. "Before they taught you a different reality. Te iubesc, right? It's Romanian, isn't it? And I love you, too, because deep down you know Dirk is on our side. And you're going to protect him no matter what because that's who you are."

It seemed like a million memories became unlocked and flooded Todd's mind. Memories of Dirk surrounded him and he felt so goddamn relieved. For too long he felt like there was something missing and it was Dirk.

He broke down in Reese's arms. "I'm sorry," he sobbed.

"It's okay," Reese soothed. He rubbed Todd's back softly. "I've got you."

Todd lifted his head from Reese's shoulder. "Dirk, I-"

"It's alright, Todd. It wasn't the first time someone's tried to kill me."

Todd chuckled. He moved away from Reese and stepped closer to Dirk, who flinched at the sight of him.

“Dirk?” His voice broke.

“I’m sorry it’s just… It’s going to take me a minute.”

“Dirk, what are you doing here?” Reese asked. “You’re supposed to be with Farah.”

Dirk gulped. “Yes well, I just thought I should come in. I guess I had a hunch, now I see why.”

Reese thought for a moment. “How did you get in here, everyone is looking for you.”

“Mona was a very clever disguise. Now she is a chair.”

As she heard her name, a chair sitting next to them turned into a golden labrador puppy. She jumped up at Todd’s legs, wagging her tail and barking at him.

Todd knelt down to her. “Mona! I’ve missed you!”

She licked his face happily before returning to life as a chair.

“How does she do that?” Michael blurted.

Before anyone could answer, the sound of gunshots from the hall ran in their ears.

“We have to go!” Reese shouted. They’re going to start checking every room if Dirk and Todd aren’t found soon.”

Mona turned back into a guard’s uniform. Once Dirk, Todd, and Michael all had their faces covered, they carefully left the room they were hiding in.

The shooting was coming from around the corner, and it didn’t sound like it was going to stop.

“Who are they shooting at?” Todd begged.

“Probably each other. They’re not too smart,” Reese answered.

“Does that mean they’ll shoot at us?” Dirk whispered. With the alarms and gunshots still going off, only Todd heard him. And he was too afraid of the answer.

“Come on, we’ll go this way.” Reese led them down the hall away from the gunshots.

As the sound of gunfire became faint, the group began to relax.

“We’re not too far from the exit,” Reese remarked.

As they turn another corner, they were met with another group of guards. Real guards. There were six of them, and they all pointed their guns at the ones in disguise as if they knew who it was under the masks.

“Stop! We need to see some identification before you go any further.”

Reese stepped forward with his hands in the air. “I’m Doctor Reese Mann, these guards are helping me get to safety. Priest was worried that because of my connection with the rouge subject that he may try to come for me.”

The guard in front repositioned his aim so his gun was pointed at Reese. “We got word from Supervisor Adams that you may be helping the subject escape. Show us the guards’ IDs.”

Reese sighed. “Yeah, I was afraid of that. Run!”

They all began running in the opposite direction. The guards didn’t hesitate to shoot at them.

Todd prayed, to no one in particular, that none of his friends would get hurt, that the bullets would somehow miss the people that were here risking their lives to save his. They’re the good guys here, they don’t deserve to be hurt.

As they turned a corner, there seemed to be a little hope that they’d get out of this alive. That was, of course, until Todd felt a bullet pierce through his own leg - the same one he got shot in six weeks ago.

He let out a scream as he fell to the ground.

Reese shouted Todd’s name and jumped over to him.

The guards stopped shooting, but they were now running towards the group.

Reese looked down and saw the blood gushing from Todd’s wound. “Fuck! Why do you keep getting shot?”

“Why do they keep shooting me?!”

“Good point.” He looked up at the guards running at them and groaned. “Mona, I need a tourniquet!”

Immediately, Dirk was left without a disguise and with a tourniquet in his hand. He passed it over to Reese, who began wrapping Todd’s leg. The guards approached them just as he was finishing.

“Dr. Mann, come with us.” The head guard ordered.

Reese knew he couldn’t argue. He looked down at Todd, who had taken off his mask sometime during the whole mess. “I’m sorry, Todd. I’m so sorry.”

The guards grabbed Reese by the arms and began pulling him away.

Reese fought it. He knew he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t stop himself. He kicked his feet and swung his arms and screamed but the guards holding him were stronger. He couldn’t get away. He couldn’t get back to Todd.

Michael was dragged away too. Todd didn’t even notice, he was too busy watching Reese get torn away from him. He wanted to scream. He wanted to pull out his gun and shoot the remaining guards in their heads. But he couldn’t because he was also being dragged away. Before he knew it, he was locked inside a cell, similar to his own, with Dirk. 

“Why did they lock us in here together?” Todd asked. He was sitting on the cold concrete ground with his back against the wall. Dirk was sitting next to him.

“I suppose they’re going to come in here and question us once it’s all calmed down.”

“I’m sorry I tried to shoot you.”

Dirk sighed. “Why did you?”

Todd shrugged. “I don’t know. They’ve been messing with my brain, I guess. They told me that you helped them get to me and that you were dangerous and you hated me and wanted me dead. I think they were teaching me to hate you.”

Dirk’s blood ran cold. “If they wanted me dead so badly, why couldn’t they just do it themselves?”

“Because where’s the fun in that? They don’t get to torture anybody that way.”

Dirk stayed silent. He knew Todd was right.

“Dirk, did you mean what you said earlier?”

“About what?”

Todd took a deep breath. “You said that life had been hell for the past six months and you told me to do it. Did you mean that?”

Dirk sat in thought for a moment. “Well, I certainly didn’t mean that I wanted you to kill me. But yeah, life has been a shit show since we broke up and just as I was beginning to feel okay again, you got taken. On what would have been our third anniversary. I guess I just figured, if it’s my time, then it’s been one hell of a build-up.”

“I think it would have been worse if you hadn’t broken up with me. They didn’t know we’d broken up when they took me. All that brainwashing stuff was focused on us still being together. If we were, then it might have worked better in their favor.”

“I suppose you’re right. Things always happen exactly as they’re supposed to happen.”

That felt like a blow to the heart. Things happened the way they were supposed to happen. Which means that Reese is just another toy of the universe. He was just an angel guiding him through hell.

As if Dirk could read his mind, and at this point, he probably can, he asked, “So what was that between you and the doctor? Is something going on with you two?”

Todd shrugged. “There was. We got really close while I was in here. He took care of me and protected me. He was my boyfriend.”

“Was?”

“That was probably the last time I’ll ever see him. They’re probably torturing him because he tried to save me. They’ll kill him because of me.” The tears slid down Todd’s cheeks as if they belonged there.

“I thought that, too, when you were taken. I was wrong, you could be too.”

Todd shook his head. “No, we’re in too deep now. We did something _ really _stupid and Priest is going to find out. He’s going to kill Reese and then he’s going to kill me too because I fucked his boyfriend and now he’s pissed.”

Dirk’s eyes widened. “You- fuc- Priest’s boyf- I- Do you have a death wish?!”

“Apparently.”

Dirk sighed. “Todd, you don’t know what’s going to happen. Don’t give up hope.”

Todd nodded.

There was a knock on the door. It was a slow three taps and then a pause. They sounded like a warning.

Todd pressed his hand to the wall and pulled himself up. He balanced carefully on his good leg, preparing to run if the door opened. He grabbed his gun that he didn’t remember putting in its holster. Dirk stood, too. He waited patiently behind Todd.

The door opened and almost by instinct, the moment Todd saw Priest’s face, he cocked the gun and aimed it at his head.

Priest laughed. “What do you think you’re doing, Zero?”

“Protecting him.”

“You’re making a fool of yourself, you know that. Now, I’m just here to talk.”

“Why haven’t you killed me yet?”

“Boy, do you see a gun in my hands? I told you I’m just here to talk. Don’t you want to know why we brought you here?”

Todd looked down, and sure enough, Priest wasn’t holding a gun. That was new. “I know why.”

Priest shook his head. “We knew you’d never hurt your little boyfriend. That was just some fun we decided to throw in there. You asked Reese earlier. You said you’re not special, but you are. You’re just like the rest of them here. You’re dangerous. At least in here, you’re not killing anybody.”

Ignoring the fact that his entire leg was numb, Todd stood up a little straighter. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Priest took a deep breath. For the first time, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. Dirk was always so easy to control. He was terrified of Priest and one look at him would have Dirk crawling back to Blackwing. It wasn’t that easy with Todd. He’s not scared of Priest anymore. He’s the one holding the gun pointed at Priest’s head.

“We could teach you,” Priest urged. “You don’t know what you can do, Zero. Let us help you.”

Todd narrowed his eyes. “Teach me what? I don’t have powers.”

Priest chuckled. “Oh but you do, boy. How do you think you’re the only one that got shot by those guards? You were thinking real hard about your friends not getting hurt, weren’t you? Telekinesis doesn’t work the way people think it does.”

Todd felt all of the air get sucked out of his lungs. Telekinesis? Is Priest actually implying that Todd is telekinetic? What the fuck?

“Don’t you want to learn how to control that? We can teach you if you stay here with us. We’ll take good care of you. And Reese.”

On cue, a guard stepped out from behind the other side of the door. He stood in the hall behind Priest, but Todd could see him clearly. He had one arm around Reese’s chest, holding him tightly so he couldn’t get away, the other arm held a gun to Reese’s forehead. Todd felt a bit of hope spark in his chest because the guard carefully lifted his mask to show Todd that it was Michael under there and that Reese was safe. Reese winked at Todd.

Oh, Priest really is a fool.

“You’re not going to hurt me, Zero. I’m the only thing keeping him alive.”

“We’ll see about that, Osmund.”

Priest grimaced. “You never learn. Do you, boy?”

“What’s my name?” Todd leered.

“You’re playing an awfully dangerous game, Zero,” Priest taunted.

“I came here to win.” Todd took a step closer to Priest, closing the distance between the barrel of the gun and Priest’s forehead. “Say my name.”

An evil laugh escaped Priest’s lips. “Okay. _ Hannah.” _

Todd’s blood ran cold, his vision went red, and his jaw clenched. He shivered. Before his mind could react to hearing that name, he had already pulled the trigger. Someone cried out as Priest’s body fell to the ground but he couldn’t tell who it was. He lowered his arm and dropped the gun to his side as the pain in his leg became unbearable. He collapsed into Dirk’s arms.

“Todd, you… you killed him,” Dirk stuttered.

Todd groaned. “Yeah well, it's called a deadname for a reason.”

“Come on, we have to get out of here,” Dirk encouraged. They stepped around Priest’s body and into the hall.

Once they were out the door, Reese wrapped his arm around Todd’s waist to help Dirk hold him up.

“You’re a mad man, Todd,” Reese marveled.

Todd turned his head to look at Reese and was met with his lips. He smiled into their kiss, feeling elated that they were able to do that so freely.

“We don’t have time for that!” Dirk shouted. “We have to go before someone shows up and sees this.”

They tried to run, but it wasn’t entirely easy in Todd’s condition. Eventually, they made it to the door.

“Reese,” Todd spoke up as the doctor focused on unlocked the door.

“Yeah?”

“Did you know? About me having... _ powers _?”

Reese paused for a moment and then continued typing in the combination. “No. I didn’t know about a lot of things.”

The door opened and the four of them stepped out into the moonlight. After months of breathing in the stale air inside Blackwing, the cold fresh air burned in Todd’s lungs. It felt beautiful. He looked up at the sky and immediately found Orion, the first constellation he was ever taught to find. His eyes filled with tears. He was outside for the first time in over three months. Every cell in his body was vibrating with excitement.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Dirk asked.

Todd smiled. “Magical.”

Farah came running over. “Todd! Oh thank god you guys are alive.” She pulled Todd into a hug and held him until he nearly stumbled over. “I was so worried. What happened in there?”

Todd grabbed Reese again for stability and shrugged. “I got shot, found out I’m telekinetic, and then I killed Priest. You know, a normal Tuesday.”

“You killed Priest?!”

“So you’re just jumping over the whole telekinetic thing?”

“I wanted to be the one to kill Priest!”

“That’s a yes, then?”

“We can sort that out later. We should get you to the hospital.”

They all piled in the van and drove around to the other side of the building where the Rowdies were at. Farah stopped the van for the six of them to jump inside. They all screamed and hollered at Todd and suffocated him in a big Rowdy group hug. Even though he wouldn’t admit it to his sister, he had missed this.

The energy died down instantly when Vogel pointed out the window. “Boss! There’s that bad guy!”

They all turned around to see a nightmare come to life. Or- come _ back _to life. No more than ten feet away from their van, Priest stood, very much alive. Blood was still dripping down that three-year-old scar on his face. He was laughing.

“Fuck!” Reese shouted. “What the fuck is happening?”

Priest’s laugh echoed in Todd’s ears. He felt like he was going to puke. “Farah get us out of here!”

She slammed on the gas pedal, racing away from hell.

Todd looked back, watching Priest disappear in the distance. Fear came rushing through his body. He was finally free from Blackwing. He was with his friends and family and he had Reese by his side. But there was a target on his back. He’ll never be free from Priest.


End file.
